my name is aaron (ftm)

12

"Favorite band?"
I make a sad attempt to swallow the food in my mouth and end up flapping my arms around in a vain attempt to communicate.
Screw laughs at me and leans back.
We're sitting on the play structure at Shark Park, where we had watched the sunrise a few weeks ago. Except this time, it's not four am and we brought a ton of junk food. Because junk food.
"Favorite band, are you kidding me?" I shout through a mouthful of chips.
"Dude, next time don't put so much in your mouth." Screw says through laughs.
"That's what he said." I mutter, which causes Screw to fall into hysterics again.
"What's your favorite band?" I ask, finally able to swallow the chips, which are fucking delicious by the way.
Screw excitedly slaps the platform we're sitting on.
"The Gorillaz." He says, grinning.
I shrug. "Never heard of them."
He gapes at me like I'm telling him I think the Earth is flat.
"What kind of shit are you listening to then?" He asks.
I laugh. "Bands that aren't named after jungle animals."
He shoves me playfully. "You suck."
"You swallow." I retort.
He scoffs. "That's like the oldest comeback in the book."
"Well it shut you up didn't it?"
He opens another can of soda and downs half of it in one drink.
"Whatever, Aaronator."
"Speak for yourself, screwdriver."
He drinks more soda and I grab more chips.
"Favorite book?" I ask.
"I don't read." He says simply.
"You can't read?"
He grins and throws his empty soda can at me. I dodge it and it goes falling over the edge of the platform.
"I don't read, dumbass."
"I think the dumbass is the one who doesn't read."
He snorts and opens another can.
"Whatever. Favorite band? You still haven't answered."
I think for a second. "Cage the Elephant."
He widens his eyes at me.
"What happened to 'not bands that are named after jungle animals'?!"
I roll my eyes. "Elephants don't live in the jungle, they live in the... Wherever Elephants live. Which is not in the jungle."
"Of course they live in the jungle. Haven't you seen the Jungle Book? Or Tarzan?"
I lift a finger as I shove more chips in my mouth.
"Tarzan was in the rainforest. Not the jungle." I point out.
He makes a move like he's going to throw his soda can at me (which is full, this time) and I put my hands up in defense while shouting at him.
He grins and we both laugh as we continue talking and joking around while eating food that's probably gonna give us diabetes. It's great.

"Arona!"
Ugh. It's Aaron.
"Hi mom." I mumble as I enter the house.
"Did you and Drew have fun?" She asks, like I'm a six year old coming home from a play date.
I shrug. "I guess."
"Listen, Arona." She says, sounding a little bit concerned. "It's so great that you're finally getting out and making friends again, but... What about your old friends?"
Huh?
"You know..." She continues, "Friends that are girls. Remember Alyssa and Leslie? You used to hang out with them all the time, and you were always so happy and you had long hair and you would wear dresses, Arona."
Is that what this is about?
That's a load of bullshit.
"I wasn't happy." I tell her. "Alyssa and Leslie and... Whoever else... I wasn't happy being their friend, mom. I'm happy being Scr- Drew's friend."
She sighs heavily. "I just can't help but think that this... Drew... Might be a bad influence on you."
What?
What is she talking about?
"Why?" I demand.
"Well... You know. He seems a bit dangerous."
Dangerous?
"Drew isn't dangerous, mom. He's nice and we get along really well."
"Yes honey, I know, but... What if he, I don't know, introduces you to drugs? Or alcohol?"
What the fuck.
"Drew isn't like that, mom." I tell her.
"You don't know Arona, I mean, doesn't he seem a bit strange?"
"No, he's nice, I told you-"
"John was nice. John was nice to you, he was a very nice guy, what happened with you two?"
I clench my hands into fists.
"John wasn't nice."
"John would'nt try and get you to drugs-"
"-Neither would Drew-"
"-John would never try and hurt you, honey-"
"-Drew would never do that-"
"-Drew could try to rape you or-"
That's it.
That.
Is.
It.
"NO HE WOULDN'T!" I scream.
Mom's eyes widen at my outburst as I breath heavily.
"Arona-"
"Drew- actually fuck this. His name is Screw. Screw is my friend and it seems like it's been forever since I had a real friend that wouldn't talk behind my back or betray me and it seems like forever since I've been this happy, to be honest! I know you and dad and Sheryl are too fucking dumb to see what I'm going through here, and what I have been going through for the past few years. Well, let me tell you! I'M DEPRESSED, MOM. I woke up everyday wishing I could die for the past year and a half and none of you have even bothered to notice or ask why. And now, Screw came into my life and I finally feel like things might just maybe turn out okay, but you have to make all these fucking assumptions when you DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM! So just do what you all do best and leave me alone! If you're lucky, maybe Screw will turn out to be just like my other fake friends and I'll be dead soon!"
I catch my breath, fighting to hold back tears and it's hard because I know they're going to fall soon.
"Arona, I will not tolerate that kind of language in my house!" Mom scolds me, "How dare you yell at your mother! You're NEVER seeing that 'Screw guy' again, do you hear me? And you're not depressed, Arona. You just don't care enough to do something with your life other than mope all day. Get out of my face."
I scowl at her and storm up to my room. Once the door is locked and I'm alone, I break down sobbing, my shoulders shaking violently as tears pour out of my eyes. I fall face forward into my bed and cry in sadness and scream in anger.
It's unfair.
Everything is unfair.
I was actually happy for once.
And now Screw is gone.
My happiness is gone.

~
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