Life

Speaking Up Pt. 3

Okay, so I just got back from spending the day with Leslie and Veronica. Before today got here, I was going through possible ways it could end. Her family could've yelled at me and said a whole bunch of hateful things towards me. She couldve brought it up in a bad way while Leslie wasn't around. She couldve tried to apologise and would try to be friends again. Or we would act like nothing happened at all, acting the way we did before everything happened and forget about everything and just magically become friends again. I had everything figured out in my head. I had a solution for everything that couldve happened. I needed to be prepared. I couldn't let myself be emotional or angry.

Well it turns out, neither of those happened exactly. I mean, we did act like nothing happened and acted the way we did before everything happened. But we didn't become friends again.

At first I wasn't sure what we were or what this meant. But I knew what I wanted. I stayed up all night last night thinking about what I wanted. And she wanted that just as bad.

We talked. Or texted more like. I stated what I wanted. I told her, I wasn't looking to become friends with her again. I think we really need this time apart. We are two different people who want two different things. We arent the same people we were four years ago. We both made mistakes. More than we should have. We both lost eachother's trust. That's not easy to get back. But if we end up being friends again in the future, it'll happen. But we both agreed it wouldnt happen any time soon. I was relieved she wanted this as much as I did.

Of course we both dont mind hanging out if Leslie wants to hang out with us both. But we wouldnt be anything more.

And that's it. This is the final phase. Peace.

We've both forgiven eachother. We dont hold a grudge. Who knows, maybe us becoming friend might happen a lot sooner than we think, but it's all in time. I'm in no rush and neither is she. We want to take this time to figure ourselves out and to figure out what we want in life. And if that doesnt include us ever being friends, so be it.

But we're on good terms. Maybe not with her family, but with eachother.

I really do believe that this was supposed to happen for us. Maybe God wants to do something in our lives that he couldn't do with us being friends. Or maybe not. Maybe its something completely different. Maybe it wasnt supposed to happen. We'll never know until the time comes I guess.

Just remember, just because something seems messy. So messy that it can't be cleaned up. It can. It always turns out well in the end.