Life

Speaking Up

Have you ever spoken up when you saw something going on that was wrong? Were you scared? What ended up happening?

I do this all the time. I see something I think is wrong and I speak up. Everyone who knows me knows this. So why did this time leave this person surprised?

Yes I've recently done this to someone. No I wasn't scared because like I said, I do it all the time. I'll tell you what happened in just a moment. Yes, I'll go into a little bit of detail. I won't post the messages, but I'll tell the story. Everything that happened, won't leave anything out. You can decide who's in the right soon. But first, let's go back a couple chapters. The first chapter to be exact. Stress. Remember when I stated that I felt like my friendships with people were failing? But there was that one person who changed throught this year but not in a good way? Turns out I was wrong. She's been like that the whole time we were friends. It just wasnt my turn yet... until now. Very shortly after her boyfriend, which brings us to the story, which led to the fall of our friendship. Mind you, this was supposed to my best friend. Someone who I could trust. But she wasnt any of that apparently. We'll call her Veronica. This is gonna be a long story, so grab a snack and get comfortable. If you love drama, this is full of that. Veronica loves drama.

So one day Veronica and her boyfriend, Bryan (not his real name obviously) broke up. Now they've been together for a while. Longer than most relationships and I just wanted to make sure that this was what she wanted. I didn't want to see her hurt later on because while she may have wanted it then, she might not want it later and regret it. And she exploded on me and just started assuming that I never supported her and that I always take his side. I was never on any sides. And then would start talking crap about Bryan, who is my friend as well by the way.

Two months later, it's about to be Bryan's graduation/going away party. And he invites Veronica as a friend through text like everyone else and puts a smiley face at the end. He has an android and she has an iphone and for some reason emojis get swapped when exchanging between the two. So on her phone it showed as "i completely understand if you dont want to come *rolling eyes emoji*" and she was fuming. But I was thinking "that's weird, android doesn't have a rolling eyes emoji" so I grabbed my ipod and my phone and began sending different emojis to the ipod and found that the side smiley was what showed up as the rolling eyes, so I told Veronica so she wouldn't be so mad. She proceeded to tell me I was wrong even though I sent her screen shots and she lashed out once again, so I left it alone. It wasn't anything huge to be arguing about.

A week before the party, Bryan gets a girlfriend. He seems really happy with her, therfore I'm happy for him. Veronica is set on that he's only dating her to make her jealous. Supposedly he said that was the reason to her grandma, which ended up being false ( I asked him). Of course it's not true. Why would he tell anyone that? And if it was, why her grandma of all people? It doesnt add up. It would be the first time she or someone in her family lied. She's lied about me before so why not about this? But anyway, Veronica decides to ask a co-worker of ours to pretend to be her date to the party. Bryan didn't know who the plus one was but he already had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good telling his brother "if it's for the wrong intention, I'm kicking her out."

Three days til the party, I ran into Bryan and I told him I was going to his party. He looked relieved for a moment and said it would make sense that I was Veronica's plus one. I was confused for a moment and said I wasn't her Plus one, I was just going and I'm letting him know. The next day Veronica texts me and our friend, April saying she was uninvited and was more pissed off than I've seen her ever. So I came out and said it. It wasn't right what she was trying to do. I had wanted to tell her the sunday before the party, but she wasnt there and I just haven't found the time after. But she lashed out again and started saying stuff like "this isn't about you" and stuff like that. I expected that. The thing about Veronica is that she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants but whenever someone does it to her, she doesn't like it and she'll try to make you seem like a bad guy and that everyone is attacking her. So she stopped talking to me and posts on facebook "why is everyone turning their back on me" and her grandma comments "its a way to show who your true friends are" to which then I'm pissed. Her grandma has been talking a lot of crap about me and uses my depression against me a lot, so I couldnt help it. But i find out at work that she asked the coworker to come to church with her and to wear what he was gonna wear to the party and she'll do the same.

So i apologise to Bryan on Veronica's behalf. Telling him i didnt think it was right. And I tell him everything. I even sent him the texts to prove it. I know, low move. But i was so pissed off that i wasnt thinking right. And i didnt really think anything of it

So the day aftet his party word gets out that i showed him the texts and now everyone knows whats going on. And i feel bad. I mean really really really bad. I know i shouldnt have done it. It was stupid. I hate myself for that. I shouldve just told him and left it at that. No one needed proof, they were already suspecting that. So why did i do it? I dont know. Me being angry isnt an excuse. I know that. Im only saying this because i cant just talk about only what Veronica did wrong, cuz i did wrong things too. Im not innocent in this and I know that.

So i decided i needed to tell her before she hears it from anyone else. Its better if it comes from me. I needed to be honest no matter how it would end. So i tell her.

It didnt go well. It ended worse than i thought it would or could.

She tried to tell me "it was a set up. I wadnt actually going to do it. I wasnt gonna go. Someone told me you werent a friend and i needed to see it for myself. You failed."

But she doesnt know that i knew about church with the co-worker. So its not a set up. She just wanted me to look stupid.

Lets say i was wrong and it actually was a set up and the co-worker just didnt know anything about it. Why use him as a piece in your little game? What i did was bad but it was nothing compared to setting someone up to fail. Its not like she was trying to prove im a bad person. She was wanting me to choose her over doing the right thing. And i did the right thing. I did. Just in the wrong way. No it was never my intention to hurt anyone. But she knows me, i always do the right thing. So why set me up to fail?

Sending him the texts wasnt okay. But plotting against me with her whole family, thats not okay either. And whether setting me up is true or not, i know they were still doing that. Thats what they do to everyone who steps into their lives. Her uncle's  girlfriend, bryan, me, and so many more. I just never thought that it would happen to me.

Do i regret doing the right thing? Nope. Not one bit. It showed me who my real friends are.

A lot of people are scared to do what is right when it involves a friend because they dont want to lose them. If they leave, they werent a good friend. If i was doing something like Vernica did, I would hope someone would do the right thing. April did. She told Veronica what I did without me knowing, but she still guided me to tell her myself saying its the right thing to do. I mean i was already going to, but april just gave me a little pep talk. Im not mad that she told her, im grateful for it. Because that was wrong. Telling him wasnt wrong. But sending the texts was.

Always do what is right. Speak up. If that doesnt work, do something about it. In the right way of course.

I know she'll  probably make me seem like the bad guy. But thats okay. My real friends know what happened. And if Veronica reads this, she'll be even more mad at me but i honestly dont care.

She lost this one. She lost a good friend. The best one shes ever gonna have. I made a mistake. So did she. We all do. Some people just dont realize that and make bad decisions based on feelings and its up to us to try to keep it from happening. If you were to read the messages, youd understand what truly went down. But theyre private unfortunately for you guys lol. No one should read them but us. Maybe time will change things. But it wont be anytime soon. So i probably did a horrible job at explaining things and probably made myself look bad haha. Those messeges are what really brings this all together, but ive learned my lesson, never share those things that are meant to stay in between two people. She wont learn her lesson though, and thats okay. Pretty soon, she'll be left with no one. And it wont be anyones fault but hers.