Loved

17.

I'm going to see Okaasan. . .

We step into the hospital and to the front counter. I'm still shaky and I can't talk very well.

"U-um.... I-I'm here t-to see.... erm.... Susuki Kaila...." I say shakily.

The lady at the front looks up at me. "And who might you be?"

"I-I'm her s-son..."

"Ah," then she turns to Ichiru. "And how about you?"

"Erm.... I'm... his friend..." Ichiru says shyly.

Her smile fades a bit. "I'm sorry... only immediate family can see her at this time."

I sigh a bit, sad. I look at Ichiru and he gives me a small smile. "I'll wait out here for you... okay?"

I nod and he goes to sit down in the waiting room. I look back at the lady and she gives me my mother's room number.

"She's asleep right now, so you can't see her for long." She tells me before I walk off towards the room.

I've always hated hospitals. They always smelled of cleaner and old people. Hospitals bring back bad memories of my grandparents and now... they'll bring back memories of my father. I can't help but let out choked sobs as I walk into Okaasan's room.

She is lying on a bed with covers on. Tubes are coming from her arms and she has an oxygen mask. Her heart minister is beeping in an almost ominous rhythm. I go to her side and kneel on the floor. I grab her hand and sob. She's so cold, lifeless almost.

I'm losing breath. I can't breath. Reality is hitting me hard and the weight of all of this is heavy. I can't stand the fact that my mother is in this state and my father isn't here anymore. Even though she's badly injured, Okaasan looks so beautiful.

My breathing calms and I look at her. The tears in my eyes blur her a bit. I let go of her hand and I caress her face. I plant a kiss on her forehead before I walk away.

I'm about to exit before I say, "I love you, Okaasan..."

I walk out of the room and back out to the waiting room. Ichiru is sitting in a chair, then he looks up and sees me. He stands up and hugs me. I hug back without hesitation. We stay like that for a while until finally we decide to head back to my house.

We took a bus here, but I didn't want anyone to see me like this, so Ichiru called Akira. After a few minutes, Akira showed up in his car. We get in and Akira takes us to my house without a word exchanged. No one had said anything until we had gotten to my house.

"Thank... you..." I say to Akira. Akira looks shocked by me talking to him. "W-would you like to come in for tea...?"

Akira smiles then. "Sure..." His voice is deep. He gets out of the car along with Ichiru and I.

We all go inside and Akira takes a seat in the couch. Ichiru sits as well, but I stay standing.

"I'll go make us some tea..." I say, then I go to the kitchen.

I can here them talking from the other room, but I cant make out what they're saying. I make te tea with shaky hands.

After the tea is finished, I pour it into three cups and take them out to Ichiru and Akira. Akira takes his hesitantly and Ichiru smiles as he takes his. I sit down with mine and sip at it slowly.

"Susuki-kun.... I know what your going through...." it was Akira who had spoken.

"Senpai... just call me Yuichi... " I say shyly. I'm not very fond of people using my last name unless it's something formal.

"I'll call you Yuichi when you call me Akira... none of that 'senpai' crap." This is the most he's talked to me, so I just nod. "Anyways.... I'm sorry..."

"Wasn't your fault...." I whisper.

"I know... but, Yuichi... I know what it's like for you..."

"It's fine.... I'll be okay... as long as Okaasan is okay..."

Akira sighs. "If you say so.... but ill be here for ya...."

"Thank you, Akira..."

The room falls to silence once more. We sip at our tea for a while longer. Akira eventually left and it was just Ichiru and I.

He doesn't say anything. He just sits there and looks at the ground. He doesn't know what to say. I look at him. I study his face. He looks as though he was going to burst with sadness. He wouldn't be sad if i wouldnt have called him. Why do I always make him sad? I read up at the thought of it. Ichiru looks up at me and sees me tear up. He rushes to my side. He hugs me tightly.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He says, genuinely concerned.

I smile lightly and nod my head. He shouldn't worry so much. I don't say anything and I kiss him. It was a quick kiss, but passionate. When I pull away, he is shocked. I smile and I hug him, snuggling my head into the crook of his neck. I never want to lose him.

I will never lose you.... Ichiru....

~~~

This chapter was really sad! I'm sorry! It gets better! I promise! Also! I drew Yuichi and Ichiru! Finally!

Yuichi is on the top, Ichiru on the bottom! I hope you love them as much as I do!

Anyways! Don't worry! There's.....

MORE TO COME!!