Loved

12.

It's Monday. I haven't talked to Ichiru since that Friday night. He texted and called, but I just couldn't answer. I don't think I can even look at him. Not after what I said. Today is going to be hard.

I quickly get dressed and ready for the day.  Inside of my book bag I packed The Princess Bride and some of my art stuff (along with all of the stuff I need). For the portraits in art, I think I'll add color, after all, I am drawing the brightest, most colorful person I've ever met. I sigh, I can't be thinking about Ichiru, not now. . .

I didn't stay home long, I didn't even get any food. I walk outside.  It's
colder than before. That's unusual. Not only is it colder, but it's darker.

First period I don't pay any attention. I suck in this class anyway. I look out of the window beside me. It starts to slowly drizzle. Great. . . Just what I need on one of my gloomiest days. I can see Ichiru's reflection in the window. He's looking at me. I can't bring myself to look at him. I look back to my desk and pull out one of my empty notebooks. I write down the following:

I can't do this much longer. He keeps staring at me. Stop it. I can't face you after what I said. What I said was  horrible and I feel really bad. Ichiru . . . I can't stand it. Just being around him makes me feel warm inside. The days were so much brighter with him around. Honestly, it's like he controls the weather. I wish I could face him, but I don't think I can anymore. I think I might —

"Susuki-kun! Are you even paying attention?!" My sensei screeches, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

I look straight up at her, "G-Gomennasai, Sensei.... I wasn't paying attention..."

"That's what I thought! Now, what I was saying was that we will be doing a 1,000 word essay. Choose your topic, be it a video game or a famous author. You have until next Monday to have it finished."

The class nods. I glance at Ichiru and immediately look away. He was taking notes. The bell rings, dismissing the class. I start to pack up my stuff and end up dropping The Princess Bride on the floor. I finish putting all my stuff in my bag and go to reach for the book. As I reach down to grab it, a hand lands on top of mine. I shiver runs through my body and I pull back immediately with the book in my hand.

"Hey... Yui.... I—" I don't let him speak.

"No, Kirosaki-kun.... I can't do this anymore. Just stop. Leave me alone." I sigh and look down at my shoes. "I-I better get going..." I start to walk away.

"Well... alright then... but.... Yui..." I stop and turn to look at his face. I give him a puzzled look. "Please.... call me Ichiru..."

I nod at him and walk away, not turning back. His voice had cracked with his last sentence. Was he... no he couldn't have been... holding back tears . . . ?

The next three classes went by maybe too fast. I had tried paying attention to them, but my mind kept going back to Ichiru's voice. Every time I thought of him I felt bad. He was always so happy. He was trying his best. Why was I the only one that I've ever seen make him frown. He almost cried! I'm a monster!

I head to the cafeteria. I don't want to be around Ichiru. I don't grab a big lunch. I grab an apple and walk outside. I start heading for mine and Ichiru's tree but quickly catch myself. I turn and walk to a different tree and sit down on the ground underneath. Ichiru was sitting under our tree. I tried not to look at him . . . But I couldn't help myself. I looked over to Ichiru and I couldnt look away.

He looked so sad. He had headphones in his ears and he was eating a sandwich. Every so often he would look up from the ground and observe his surroundings. His big, beautiful, blue eyes looked like they could cry a river. They were deep pools of despair. I can't stand seeing him like this. I stand up and walk over to him.

"Oh... hi, Yui-chan..." he says, looking up at me.

"H-hey, Kiro- er... Ichiru..." I rub the back of my neck, thinking of what to say. "I'm sorry about... about what I said.... earlier... I just..."

Ichiru stands up to meet my eyes with his. "Shut up, Yui." He caresses my face.

"N-no! I have to apolo—"

He smashes his lips onto mine, making me shut up. The kiss was passionate and rough. His eyes were closed, but mine were wide open. I don't know how to react. I want to kiss back, but I know I can't do that.

He pulls away from me, "I said shut up... no more talking... I get it. You don't love me like you used to. It's alright... I understand . . ."

"No. No, Ichiru, I-.... I don't... I... I think I...." I don't know what I'm trying to say. I struggle to find the words. I can't find them. "I . . ."

I pull him into a hug. I hug him so tightly. I shove my face into his shoulder and just cry. I sob into his shoulder so hard I fear I'll soak his shirt.  He runs his fingers through my hair while hugging me tightly and whispering words of comfort in my ear.

After that episode, we go to our next class. In art, we both finished our portraits of each other. We showed them to each other and turned them in. We weren't allowed to talk because so many people who needed to finish. So we both grabbed something silent to do. I grabbed a piece of drawing paper and started drawing. Ichiru grabbed a piece of paper and started writing something down. He finished and slid the paper over to me. I grab the paper and read.

I love you too ~

I blush immediately after reading the note. I write my reply :

Too? I never said it . . .

You didn't need to. I can just tell.

How?

Because of the way you look at me. And the way you speak to me. And the way you blush whenever I say something like this.

I blush once more and don't reply. I turn back to my drawing.

~ALL OF THOSE TIMESKIPS ARE HERE!!!~

The rest of the day went by fast. After the wound between Ichiru and I was patched up, we made plans to go somewhere during the weekend. He didn't specify where, but he said it was an all weekend thing. My parents won't mind, I think.