living without mum

chapter three- doctors choices.

I woke up and started to panic totally forgetting what happend the night before wo how i ended up there. Then it hit me all over again, my mum my one true friend the person who i was so horrible to before her death for my own selfish reasons was now gone. Why was i so stupid?

I sat up and stared around me to find out i was in a bare room with just a bed in one corner nd  closet in the other. The walls were bare and the sheets were white. I rememberd the doctor offering to let me stop t his house and this was not exctly what i imagined. I flung my legs over the side and thought about what to do next until a quiet nock on the door broke my thoughts.

"Hey Aime you awake? Its josh your friend from school" Woah was i hearing things. what was he doing here?!

"Josh? i-um come in" I stuttered  as i scurried back under the covers. He must of seen the confused look plastered on my face as he started to explain.

"I guess he never told you then" He paused for a while obviously waiting  for me to say something. "I'm the doctors son ha ha. I live here"

He was the doctors son. Did he know everything about my mum?! i couldn't believe it. Then a horrible thought jumped into my mind.

"Oh so that's why you were so nice to me in school ll of s sudden then!" I started fuming with anger. He shifted an uncomfortable look.

"no" He spoke me a calm voice. "I only just found out you were Joannes daughter.

I winced t the sound of my mums name.

"Im sorry for your loss. I knew how much loved her. He came over to give me a hug, but i still never trusted him and pushed him away.

"Sorry" he said again as he got up to leave. "Breakfast is ready. Sorry"  He mumbled. OK  so why did he keep apologising.

I stood up and brushed my self down as i headed for the bathroom, I was still in my clothes from yesterday and my hair was all over the place. How embarrising. While swilling my mouth out i fixed up my hair into a tight pony. i finished and started my way down stairs, even though i would rather crawl into a little ball and see my mum. I couldn't keep living like this though. Always thinking about her and crying No that wouldn't get me anywhere in this fucked up world. I had to be strong not just for me but for her too.

"Good morning Aime. You feeling any better? And i see you have met my son Josh." Feeling any better? I wanted to scream at  him what could possibly be going through his mind to think i would be feeling any better from the night before!  instead i settled with a subtle nod.

"Im sorry for your lost Aime but shes in a better place now. Maker her proud she will always be watching"

That made me feel a little warm inside. Knowing that she would be watching but i tried nott to show my happieness. Now was certainly not the time. I headed towards the table where josh and the doctor were already siting munching on there eggs on toast. I really wasn't inn the mood for eating so i just picked at it.

"Thankyou" I really didn't know what else to say

"Aime." He was silent for a moement. Seemed like he was trying to prepare me for what was about to come out of his mouth. "Look i'd love to have you here for many more nights bu thats just not possible im sorry. I've decided you can stay here for the rest of the week to give you time to grieve for your mother, but then. you. have. to go." He sighed.

My heart dropped. I just stared at him as my green eyes started to fill up with tears, i looked at josh for support but he just looked away.

"B-but i have no where to go" My tears became heavy now.

."We really dont have to talk about this now. I have to go to work now. aime you dont have to go to school and Josh is willing to stay here and keep you company"

I gave a slight smile. He did have a kind heart really. He grabbed his coat aved goodbye and left me and Josh alone on the sofa.

"Come here" His arms were streched. I arched a brow.

"Hey were mates and your upset and in need of hug now come here" True. I scurried over to him and lay in his arms and cried my eyes out for hours. My life was so f*cked. My mum wasn't around  anymore i didn't have a clue where i was meant to be staying and here i was crying my eyes out in a boys arms.

"OK OK if i cry any more my eyes will fall off from the amount i've been rubbing them" I pulled away and stared into his eyes for a long moement.

"Look. I know my dad was being nice just then, but it is his choice that you cant stay here i cant believe he is letting you go there after what you have been through" He mumbled that last bit so i could barley hear it.

"Go where?" I wasn't sure i really wanted too know the answer, bu rather sooner then laty hey.

"OK i'll tell you straight out" He stared at the ceiling as he spoke. "A care home"

OK now my life was seriously f*cked up. I had herd stories about them places. The chilren were not treated right and neither were certain children and im sure i would be one of those kids. My mind started to swoosh around. I pulled away from Josh and headed up to my white wash wall to cry all over again. Why me?

After about an hour or so Josh had obviously decided it was time to check on me. He softly knocked on the door.

"Hey Aime can i come in?" Without waiting for a reply he walked in a let him self into my bed.

"Whatever happens you will always  have me you know that right" Was he just joking around. I seriously felt like i couldn't trust this family anymore, no after that. Sending me to a care home?! No way. I turned to look at him and all i could see was honesty.

"Why me Josh. My life sucks! I wont srurvive one day in that hell home they call a care home, not one day. What did i ever do wrong to desserve this!" He hugged me tightly again.

"Sh everything will be ok you just gotta have faith, you have a phone right? I'll give you my number and you call me whenever you need to"

That week seemed to fly by then, but things didn't seem to be as bad after my little chat with Josh, he really did care for me. My feeling grew for him during that week to and i think being away froom him from tomorrow on wards would kill me, i rolled over and fell into a deep sleep.