Broken // h.s.

Chapter Seventeen- Truth

Chapter Seventeen- Truth

Song for this chapter:

One Republic- All We Are

"How are you feeling Lana?"

"I'm fine. Okay."

"Has anything new happened since our last meeting?" Dr.Ross asks.

"I signed up for some book writing contest. If I win, my book can get published and I can receive a scholarship for college."

"I thought local community college was your plan."

I shrug. "I don't know what my plan is anymore. I've learned that, you can't ever really have a 'plan.'"

"So you're writing again and you like it?"

I nod. "I mean, writing is all I have. I like to think I'm pretty good at it and if I wasn't a writer, there'd be nothing else for me. I'd be doomed and stuck in this town forever and I realized that I don't want that for myself. If I'm good at something, I should do it and at least try and get something out of it." It's the most I ever said to Dr.Ross.

"That is very much true." she smiles. "How are you friends? Kyrie? Vee? Zayn? The other crazy one?"

"They're okay. Well, Kyrie can't really hang out with me anymore since her parents heard about me and of think I'm some kind of sociopath."

"Well are you?"

"Did you just ask me if I'm a sociopath?"

"Do you think you are?"

I knit my eyebrows together. "Well you're the expert."

She chuckles then returns to a serious face. "How about Harry?"

"Harry is being Harry. He's got something on me.... that I can't seem to shake."

"Elaborate." she instructs.

"Do you know what it's like to feel alone for so long? I used to see this world and see...hell. I'd be so scared to even look in the mirror; afraid to face reality and say to myself 'yes, that's you.' Because I didn't want that to be me." I pause. "It's scary to feel alone."

"Do you still feel alone?"

"No because now, there's Harry, and now, I'm trying to build a relationship with my parents again because I see how much my kidnapping took a toll on them too."

"Are you still afraid?"

"Always," I answer, almost in a whisper.

"When was the last time you cried?"

"Why is that relevant?"

"I would just like to know. That's all."

"Three days ago." I say, looking away. "I know I shouldn't have and I feel bad for doing so."

"Why would you feel bad about crying?"

"I'm giving them; those animals the victory of breaking me down." My voice fades near the end. "I think I like being with Harry so much because when I'm with him, I forget. He's my... he's my sanity."

"Are you using Harry?"

"God, no. I like him."

"A lot?"

I nod as an answer, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

She smiles. "You're making progress, Lana. I really am proud of you."

"Thank you."

"And if you feel like you aren't making progress...just remember... feeling like you are damaged is feeling at the most. You only have to worry about moving forward, repairing, fixing... It's going to be a good life for you."