Broken // h.s.

Chapter Nine- Silence

Chapter Nine- Silence

Silence. The one state I turn to when I feel nothing and by nothing I mean sorrow, but I never cope good with sorrow so I say nothing; I feel nothing.

I was eight weeks pregnant.

...

I was shot and had a miscarriage.

...

And I was only sixteen.

As I take a shower and let the hot water drape down my body, I run my index finger over the scar I have from being shot. How can such a small mark as this simple, faded circle hold so much?

With this scar, I am reminded of how horrible it felt to be shot for the first time ever.

...To almost be killed for the first time ever.

I get dressed and make no effort on my hair. I didn't even comb it, but who cares? I don't. Last night...my parents laid a big secret on me.

I haven't spoken a word to them since.

How can they be so selfish?

I go downstairs and make my own breakfast. I tried to stuff all the scrambled eggs and toast into my mouth before my parents came down, but I was too slow. Apparently, 5:30 for them is late.

"How are you feeling?" my mom asks in a gentle, soft voice in which I ignore.

"Lana, your mom is talking to you."

I am aware of that, father.

I gulp down my glass of water and grab the keys to my car.

"We'll see you later, sweetheart." I close the door shut behind me and get into my car.

When I check my phone, I see I have five missed calls; three from Harry and two from Isan.

While getting my books out from my locker, I am fully aware of Harry staring me down as if I'm some piece of fascinating artwork, but I don't say a word to him; I just greet him with a simple nod and nothing else.

"Are you okay?"

I nod.

"I called a few times last night because I thought we should talk about- I don't know. Did you get my messages?"

I nod.

"Are you mad at me?"

I shake my head lightly and just when I open my mouth to say no, he speaks again.

"Then what's up with this silent treatment shit?"

I shrug and walk away. Isan comes jogging down the hallway towards where I am headed and I turn on my heels, choosing to walk the long way to homeroom.

After school, I go to the Bridge. I meet Vee, Zayn and Badass there and thankfully, Isan had to visit his aunt or something in the next town over.

We drink a little rum and it burns, swallowing it down. I take a puff or two out of a joint, but not enough to get really high like I usually do.

They ask what's wrong, but I ignore them and continue to drink.

And drink. And drink.

I think Badass drives me home and when I get there, I see Harry. He's waiting for me on the porch with his elbows balancing on his knees and his head, hanging low.

I walk up the front stairs and his eyes trail up from my feet to my eyes.

"Lana,"

I giggle. His voice is so deep.