Heart to Heart

Chapter 33: Confession

(Japanese)

Alice's P.O.V

"So, what do you want to talk about, Alain?" I ask since this seems like a serious matter.

He takes time to find the word and finally answered, "D-do you still... you know... like me?"

The question made my eyes wide open. Do I still like him? What is he trying to do here? "What if I said no?" I ask but he remain silent. "What if I said yes?" I ask again and his response is the same.

He don't know what to say at all. The atmosphere become really awkward and silent. I could even hear the leaves separated from the tree. He's trying his best not to look at me. A warm feeling coming out from my cheek and I guess it's tears.

I wipe it off then said, "Look, if you can't answer how can I know too. I mean, we broke up and go on different path. Isn't it our decision?" He finally looked at me then I continued, "I don't even know whether I still like you or not."

He breathed in then said, "I'm going back to Japan, soon."

I don't know what to feel hearing that. "All the best then," that was all I could muster up.

"You're... not gonna miss me then?" he ask while looking at me deeply. Is he breaking into tears too?

"I probably miss you as a friend," I said try not to sound cold while looking at other direction. He went silent again. "So, tell me do you still love me, Alain?" I ask the same question.

He muster up his courage then finally answered, "I don't know. I promise you to become my queen but, it looks like I broke the promise."

He sat down on a bench then I sat besides him. "Promise are meant to be broke though," I blurted while looking at the sky. I smile while reminiscing the past with him. "So, who's the lucky girl that will be by your side soon?" I ask.

"My mother arranged it. I don't know her name but, my eyes caught her attention," he answered then chuckles.

"She must be lucky then," I said. I suppose to feel sad but I feel happy instead. Happy for him.

"Do you... still love me?" he ask again.

"If I say yes. Will you take me rather than her?" I ask but he went silent. "Look Alain, I've got to be honest with you. When I first dated you, I thought that 'Am I really gonna be a queen?' but I also thought about the consequences," I explained.

"Which is?" he anticipated for answers.

"If I become a queen, can I guide you? If I become a queen, will I be able to comfort you during your hard time? If I become a queen, will I be able to look after the throne while you were gone? That is the question with a large possibilities of consequences. I don't want the title or anything, the question just now is how can I love you when we are married," I explained.

He got silent immediately, thinking about the question I listed down. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I want to become part of the royal family. Probably with all that restrictions, I don't think there will be freedom if I become one. I'm fine becoming a commoners as long as I have love towards the person who I truly love and he loves me back.

Since he went silent I answered his question, "The answer to your question is in between."

"Meaning?" he didn't understand.

"I no longer love you but I still love you as a friend," I said then breathe in the air while looking at the cherry blossoms.

"I see," he said.

"Come on," I punch his elbow lightly to lighten up the atmosphere. "There must be a reason your mother chooses her. In fact, I bet she can be a great queen and a great wife for you," I said then both of us laugh.