Loving You Again

Ch. 5: Break My Heart

I stared at Harry's laying body outside as I took another sip of water. Anne sat beside me rubbing my back as if it would ease the turmoil in my stomach.

"I can let him know you were here." I turned to Anne who held a worried expression. I shook my head in response.

"He deserves an apology Anne." I pursed my lips as I tried gathering the strength to get up and talk to Harry, but it seemed like for the thousandth time, I just couldn't muster up the courage.

I was scared.

I felt like the person who laid outside was a stranger. I felt as if a new man had inhabited the boy I once knew. Remembering last night and how Harry looked, seemed surreal. When I left, Harry had longer hair, he had a bit of stubble but always shaved because he preferred a clean face, and his eyes were bright.

The man I saw sprawled in the sun was not the same guy I felt I knew since diapers. This man had shorter hair, he had facial hair growing out, and his persona seemed so changed. Thinking about this made my heart ache and stomach turn the same. I didn't know what I was thinking coming here.

Suddenly, I watched as Harry got up and stretched. His tan body bending backwards and his arm stretching high. I felt a jolt of fear as he began to walk towards the house, grabbing his towel on his way.

I felt like running back to the car, but it seemed as if Anne's hand, which now moved to my shoulder, kept me anchored to the dining table chair. My heart began to pump erratically and I heard the pulse in my ears.

When Harry reached the door I stood up as if it would make any difference in his reaction to see me. Harry took his sunglasses off and I searched in his eyes for the boy I once knew.

"What are you doing here?" My hands instinctively went to play with a loose string on my pants.

"I came to talk." I looked down at the marble table waiting for Harry to say something similar to last night.

I was surprised when he instead said, "Let's talk then." Harry turned to walk away and I looked at Anne who tilted her head as if telling me to follow him. I quickly did, keeping my eyes on his back as we walked. I kept a distance between us, acting as if the man in front of me wasn't once the boy who knew all my secrets and the one whom I kissed under makeshift forts.

Harry walked through the far end of the house, a part I have never been in because I knew it was where his office and makeshift studio was. Harry opened the double doors and turned to me, motioning for me to go through first.

"Thank you." I said as I quickly broke the short eye contact. I was in awe at the space in front of me. It was a big space, but something about the way Harry had decorated made me feel as if I had entered a new place.

There were thin blankets adorning the walls, patterns of flowers and plants on them, the floor was scattered in rugs that gave it a homey feel. The colors were neutral and there was a wall where pictures were framed and a big award with the album cover I had seen before, took front and center.

"Feel free to sit or stand." I turned to Harry who was sitting on a vintage flower patterned couch. I took a deep breath feeling my heart steadily decrease in speed and my face started to cool.

A picture caught my eye and I saw a familiar redhead standing with Harry. I smiled at the photograph remembering the night we went to one of his concerts, just Harry and I. "You met Ed?"

"He and I are actually pretty close friends." I turned to Harry and my smile fell as I saw his eyes piercing mine in a way I didn't know how to interpret. "What do you want to talk about Cassandra?" He sat with his legs crossed and his arms sprawled on the couch frame behind his head. His stance was open but intimidating; I couldn't find the Harry I knew.