[Edited:]
*Cassandra POV.*
Ashton's voice filled my head as I got out my car and the dreaded feeling in my heart never faltered. I didn't want to be here at all; sure I've never missed school and maybe I could've used it to my benefit today, but I didn't want to be at home either.
Last night, as soon as I heard a car door shut I turned everything off, including myself, in totality. When Katie walked in and called my name, I pretended to be out like a light, but deep inside I was dreading for the reality.
Today felt like light-years away from yesterday and I left the apartment without a word to anyone on purpose. I owed everyone so much, but I was scared of what was to come.
I lived in this paradise of perfect in my eyes, until London. Harry was my reality and heaven at the same time, he awakened everything from before, but with it came the monsters that hid in our nightmares.
I groaned when all my books and binders were spread in the bottom of my car. I looked at the time and shoved my earbuds and phone in my bag along with the books.
I got out the car and walked to my class without a care, because I was going to be late anyway. The school was almost empty, with students running to their classes or other's loitering.
Without seeing anything I felt a thud and I collided with someone. Without hearing or feeling anything, what hit me first was his distinct cologne. One that hit me like a truck and left like roadkill.
Maybe it was a popular cologne though, but I couldn't help the tremor shaking inside me. My eyes raked up. I made myself go slowly, dreading to meet his eyes, but when they did I hated the butterflies that started dancing in my stomach.
We stood there, a few seconds he was a feet away, now our chest stood only centimeters apart. He looked down at me, a crease between his brows, with a frown.
I didn't dare speak but I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at him. It was as if we were repeating the same thing, it was like a broken record now. One I couldn't seem to break or stop.
5 years.
Now 6 months.
I guess I was expecting him to run after me that summer afternoon, to yell my name, like in the movies and books. But this wasn't a movie, this wasn't a book, and it wasn't his decision.
He had begged me, he had cried, but I wouldn't listen. It was the right thing to do, he had told me he loved me, and I did too, but in my head it was just another summer fling.
The first one for me.
But in my heart it was finding him again. The him that stole my heart, the one who took it almost 6 years ago, the one who returned and mended it, but who again stole it like the thief he is. And again he's back.
And I could almost see him giving me my heart back, like a game. I knew that once I reached to grab it back he'll pull away, and mock me. I scoffed and turned away, wanting to run away like I have for everything, but I couldn't seem to run away.
"Cass," His hand reached up and with the pad of his thumb he circled my cheek. He stared into my eyes, and in their reflection I could see my tear stained face. "Don't go." He whispered.
It was a line that seemed to belong at the end of a movie, or at the end of a one night stand. The boy had fallen deep for the girl who craved for him silently, but in her own way she accepted it. Because she loved him too.
But she couldn't stay any longer, because just as reality was calling my name, her lover lay in their bed missing her.
Harry was the danger of an affair during summer, and as we stood staring into each other's souls I realized I had to choices here. I had time to stop Ashton, to call him back and promise him forever, but I also had the choice to stay here in Harry's arms forever.
We were both in our own ways savoring this moment, loving the feeling of each other here in the cold. We didn't know what came next, we didn't know why we thought, we didn't know if the next word to be spoken might hurt either one of us, more than we were at the moment.
"Why?" he whispered after what felt like hours, when in fact it was only minutes. My bag lay alone on the floor, just like my rationality seemed to be.
"You." my words were barely spoken, the word mixed with the wind like my breath but somehow Harry heard.
He leaned in and I didn't flinch nor moved away. I didn't know what I expected, but when his lips touched my ear I felt my whole body ignite. "I love you." he whispered with remorse.
He didn't say "I loved you," because I knew what he meant. But he said it like he still did, and it hurt him.
"Just with one condition." Ashton pulled away serious now.
"Yeah?" I asked confused.
"Please stop stalling and just dive in. Just be patient and hear the full story, because you never know, maybe you're the one delaying your happy ending."
"But you belong with Harry, because this is different, whether you'd like to admit it or not you love him in a way that can only mean forever."
At that moment I let every negative thought go. Every wise decision to walk away and reject him like I did 6 months ago; they were all gone.
They always told me that I was very mature for my age ever since I was young, but right now I wanted to act my age. I wanted to love like an idiot, I wanted to make stupid decisions, I wanted to make bad choices that I would regret the next day, I wanted to be a real 21 year old.
Harry's jade eyes stared at mine and I reached my small hands to his face. Every doubt gone from his beautiful eyes and gestures. I traced my fingers over his features and watched as his eyes fluttered closed.
His arms laced with my waist and I smiled slightly as he leaned down and I reached up.
Our lips met in the middle of it all.
I wanted to make all these regrettable memories with him. I wanted to love with him. I wanted to love him.
I wanted us. I wanted happiness.
YOU ARE READING
Loving You Again
Fanfiction[REVISED] 5 years ago, Cassandra had done what she had thought was the best thing to do: break up with Harry to let him live his dream and pursue her own. Little did she know that getting rid of any feelings towards the boy she had grown up with wa...
