My Beautiful Mess

Chapter 1- We can talk later

Enjoy! :)

Chapter one

I stared at my maths homework hoping it would scream me answers. My older brother Harry was sitting next to me with his eyebrows raised waiting for an answer. I inhaled sharply and clenched a handful of hair in my hand. "I don't know, is it... sixty six?" I asked hopelessly. Harry shook his head, his mousy brown curly hair bouncing from side to side.

I never got maths and I never will.

Period.

"No, it's sixty four. You find the value of y which is twenty because it's a corresponding angle to twenty. Then add them together, divide them by the set number then you get sixty four." Harry was always the best at maths; he is two years above me and was in top set for everything before he left secondary school. He sets the bar very high.

"I'm hopeless at this! I'll just work at McDonalds and get free chips and then I'll get fat and I won't be able to do anything so I'll live on benefits. My life is sorted." I murmured sarcastically. I heard Harry chuckle beside me, his voice was low and calming, this is the side of him I like best.

Ever since Harry was little he has been Bipolar and has anger issues. It started off with just strops and mood swings but it has grown to 'mood episodes'. Getting thrown into mood swings of depression, anger and manic must be tiring so I always try to go easy on him.

"You crack me up Cecily. Okay next question." Harry smiled. I pressed his hand to the table to prevent him from moving on and closed my book. I was fed up with maths; we had been doing it for two hours now and all I could see in front of my eyes were swimming numbers. "No H, this is enough. I've had enough of this I want to sleep." I moaned. All he did was shake his head and get up from the table. I heard his phone bleep from the sofa.

Harry walked over to the living room to retrieve his phone and looked at the screen. "Damn." He whispered. I sat up straight and frowned at his plain face, he looked guilty and disappointed. My feet moved before I could speak and before I knew it I was standing opposite my brother. "Harry what's wrong?" I asked gingerly. He cleared his throat and set his phone down. "Dad's staying in New York for another four weeks for work." He sighed. I felt my concerned look disappear and my face fell.

The bottom of my body sank into the chair and I suddenly felt awful; dad hasn't been home in five weeks because he's been working in New York. How could he do his to us for another twenty eight days?

Hey, at least I can do math...

Harry continued to speak "I'm so sorry bubs; I tried to convince him to come back, for you. He said he couldn't because he's neck high in paper work." That's when the tears tumbled down my cheeks and sobs burst from my chest. I couldn't hold it in any longer so I just collapsed onto the floor in front of me. I missed my Dad, I missed our family being whole.

Harry's arms caressed my torso and lifted me onto his lap as I nuzzled into his chest. "How could... How could he do this t...to us?" I whined in between sobs. I missed him so much.

After a couple of minutes I calmed down and all my emotions just disappeared. I felt nothing, I was numb. While I stood up, I clamped my hands into fists to prevent them from shaking. I saw Harry's red hot anger expression. I knew he was having a mood episode. His chest moved rapidly up and down as he tried to level his breathing and he heavily shifted his feet. "Harry? Harry. It's okay calm down, please don't..." I trailed off not wanting to say the wrong thing when he was like this.

"I won't." He hissed through gritted teeth. It sounded like he was demanding it to himself instead of talking to me. He looked me in the eye and repeated again "I won't." I couldn't imagine being Bipolar. I couldn't imagine not being able to control my emotions.