Stage 4 Fear Of Dying ✔ (Frerard)

//Chapter 9\\

"And I traveled far, I reached for the stars.
But those stars don't reach back."

Frank's POV:

We had to stop off at home first before going to see Mikey perform. Not just because we had to pick Ray up but because we were drenched and needed a change of clothes. We would've gone sooner but I promised Mikey I'd wear his Electric Century shirt so we had to wait for that to dry too.

Eventually we made it to the bar. And despite it being fairly small, considering it was a local bar, there were quite a lot of people. I guess Mikey and David were pretty well known.

Ray led me and Gerard into the back room where Mikey and some other guy were setting up. Mikey looked up.

"Hey guys. Frank, this is David. David, this is Frank, mine and Ray's Brother and Gerard's boyfriend."

David and I shook hands politely.

"Hey Frank. I heard you know how to play guitar. More specifically, acoustic??"

"Uh, yeah, I mean, I used to play."

"Do you still know how??"

"Of course. That's something you can't ever forget."

"Perfect!!" He clapped his hands together and made his way to what I assumed to be a storage room. I turned to Mikey.

"What's perfect??"

"Uh, well you see, David usually plays acoustic but, he kinda broke his hand. So...we were wondering if...you could...maybe...fill in for him??"

"Uh...well, I guess, but...I don't know any of your songs."

"You know how to read sheet music right??"

"Yeah."

"That's settled then. We have plenty of music sheets of all our songs and plenty of time for you to familiarise yourself with them."

"Yeah, okay, no problem. Except I need-"

Ray cut me off by pushing the acoustic from the house into my arms.

"Got you covered buddy. It's tuned correctly and everything."

"Thanks Ray."

"Alright!!" David came back over. "Let's start practising!!"

---

Honestly, their songs were amazing!! I can believe how lyrically powerful David was. And Mikey played his bass with such raw, emotional power, it was mind-blowing!!

As for myself, I picked up the songs pretty quickly. If Heaven Will Have Me has to be my favourite. It spoke so clearly to me. For obvious reasons.

But for any matter, in no time it was show time.

Mikey and David hurried to the curtain the separated them from the stage and the viewers. I hesitantly followed behind them. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. I'd never done anything like this before. I felt a presence behind me before Gerard wrapped his arms gently around my waste and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you okay??"

"I'm...actually really fucking nervous. I mean, what if I mess up?? What if they hate me?? What if-"

"Frank. Shush and listen to me. This is what you always wanted to do right?? Perform in front a crowd, playing music. Playing songs that change lives. Making people happy. Right??"

"Yeah, it is."

"Then go live your dream Frankie!! Because...I don't wanna say it..."

"Because I'll never get this chance again."

Gerard stayed silent and looked at the floor guiltily.

"Hey."

I lifted his chin to force his eyes to meet with mine.

"Thankyou. For talking sense into me. I know I can do this now. Because I'm doing it for you too."

"Knock em' dead Frank."

He kissed me good luck and I followed Mikey and David onto the stage. The crowd cheered. I was introduced as the fill in. And I played like I was born into it.

---

"Someday if Heaven will have me."

David finished the song and the crowd screamed appreciation and love. I smiled brightly like a little bitch, but I couldn't help it, this was honestly the happiest I've ever been. It was like a dream I didn't wake up from. Or a fantasy I didn't want to admit wasn't real. It was one of those moments where it felt like I wasn't dying. I'd like to feel this way forever if I could.

I was brought out of my daydream when David patted me on the back and I realised the crowd was chanting me name. I turned to David.

"They want you to do a solo encore for them. Do you think you're up for it??"

"Absolutely!!"

David laughed and Mikey came up to us.

"No more stage fright huh??"

"Nope. But you just gave me the perfect song to perform."

I hugged Mikey and David before they wandered off backstage and I took my place standing in front of the mic with my acoustic.

"Uh, hey guys. This song...this song is one that I wrote a long time ago. And it's very personal to me. And very important. And I hope you appreciate it just as much as I do...

It's called Stage Four Fear Of Trying."

"If I, face my fear,
Would my skies be all but clear??
Probably not, then again,
I've always held my doubts so close to my heart.
That these frames trapped all my better days.
There they stay frozen and unscathed.

Though I've traveled far.
I've been back to the start.
And I found some scars in places I have never shown, to anyone.
I don't know why it took so long to get back home.

"If you could hear the dreams I've had, my dear..."
Yea I know, you've heard that line before.
But if I had the chance to scream all the things I've underlined,
Yea you'd find I'm a thief.
But my taste is so refined.

And I traveled far, I reached for the stars.
But those stars don't reach back.
They're better left alone.
Everyone will tell you.
I never felt more alone than when I fell.
I don't know why it took so long to get back home.

All these miles just to get back home.
Travelled all these miles just to get back home.

All these miles just to get back home.
Travelled all these miles just to get back home."

During the song my breathing became uneasy. My vision went a little blurry and my head began spinning. I assumed it was because of the heat, the bright lights and just performing took my energy. But of course it wasn't. And I should've realised that. And I barely finished the song and heard the cheers from the crowd before I fell backwards into the dark and shadows.