Stage 4 Fear Of Dying ✔ (Frerard)

//Chapter 5\\

"I don't know why it took so long to get back home."

Frank's POV:

I woke up in Gerard's arms on the bathroom floor. Memories of last night flooded my thoughts and I groaned internally. I can't believe I broke like that. What's worse is that I let Gerard see me at my weakest. My most vulnerable and helpless state. But even so, he stayed. He stayed with me and helped me. Tended to my wounds and to my heart when he hugged me and wrapped me up in his comforting arms.

Speaking of, they were still wrapped around me. They were warm and secure and I honestly didn't want to move. Somehow, they made breathing easier. They lifted a weight off of my shoulders. And they belonged to Gerard. Sweet, perfect, gay, came-out-of-nowhere-but-I'm-so-fucking-glad-he-did Gerard.

He began shifting behind me and I felt his arms leave me. I tried not to flinch as the cold hit me. Suddenly I didn't feel so safe anymore.

"Frank??"

I grunted in response, too drained to turn around or form proper words.

"How are you feeling??"

"Like I'm dying." I answered with a dry chuckle. I heard him scoff light-heatedly.

"You're something Frank. But are okay, like right now??"

"Yeah."

"Will you be okay when you go back home??"

"...no. I don't think so. It's lonely."

"How about you move here with me and the guys then??"

That's when I turned to face him. His hair was scruffy and his eyes only half open from having just woken up. But his sincerity about the question shone through despite.

"I mean I know it's sudden and you don't really know us that well but there's a spare bedroom and the guys have taken a shine to you and I promised I'd make you're life worth while and that includes making you happy and since you're happy when you're here I just thought-"

I cut off his one-breath sentence by putting my finger against his lips. He crosses his eyes to look down at it and I couldn't help but giggle at how adorable it was.

"I, uh...I would love to Gerard. But..."

"What's wrong??"

"Who's gonna take care of Fun Ghoul??"

Gerard then laughed and took my hand with both of his, patting it affectionately.

"I thought about that last night, actually. I know how much you love him so I could never separate you from him. That's why...I...I'm willing to get the shots, so that Fun Ghoul can stay here too."

"That's amazing!! Thankyou so much Gerard, you have no idea how thankful I am, how...how happy this makes me!!"

"It's no problem at all Frank. I can get the shots today actually, I just...need you to do one thing for me."

"Of course, anything."

"Come with me so I can hold your hand??"

"Huh?? No offence but, you're a grown man, why would you need to hold my hand??"

"...I'm scared of needles."

---

So then it ended up with Gerard breaking my hand (not literally) whilst he got pricked with a stick. And I've gotta say, I've never in all my life heard a full grown man screech just like he did. Yet, although I probably lost half my hearing, it was pretty funny. And actually...kinda cute, in some sense. Both his hands were clutching one on mine and he pressed up against me as much as he could while I petted his pinkish firey hair.

Needless to say he got a sticker for being brave and a damn lollipop.

Needless to say...I got a lollipop too.

---

Gerard drove us to my apartment and came up with me to grab my stuff. I didn't have much. At least, not that I needed to take with me. I just grabbed my clothes, guitars and some other necessities. Including Fun Ghoul who, now that he could hold him, was trapped in Gerard's arms.

"You play guitar??" Gerard asked.

"I used to. Not so much anymore. But Pansy is important to me. I couldn't ever let her go, not fully."

"I understand. I'm the same with singing. I mean, I used to sing all the time. Of course, Mikey would serenade with me as well by playing bass but...I miss that sound. Cos now we don't sing so loud. But it was fun while it lasted I guess."

"Could you sing for me??"

"What??"

"You said you'd do anything right?? So...I'd like to hear you sing. I could even play guitar while you do it if you want?? I saw an acoustic in your house, I know how to play."

Gerard just stared at me. There was some kind of light behind his eyes. I couldn't put my finger on it. But it was almost like...regret?? Or longing?? Like he missed it. He missed singing and wanted to sing again. I don't understand why he doesn't. He's alive, he's healthy, strong and capable. What's stopping him??

"Gerard. What's stopping you??"

"I don't know. It's like...that part of my life is done now. Sometimes I just don't have it in me to sing."

"But you will sing for me...right??"

"One day Frankie. One day."