Forever and Always - KomaHina Drabbles

Children?

Hinata didn't really know when the thought about having kids actually came up. Maybe it was around the time he turned 27, or how most of his coworkers at work would talk about the big accomplishments their child had done and the pictures of them on their desk; whenever it was, Hinata couldn't help but think:

"What would it be like to be a dad?"

It had never even crossed his mind before about being a parent, it was never brought up in conversation until recently. Now that he thought about it, most of his friends from high school were already starting families of their own. The fact that he was in his late 20s and quickly approaching his 30s definitely wasn't helping either...

There was a problem thought; he was pretty certain that Komaeda did not want children. Maybe Komaeda didn't notice himself, but whenever he seemed to be near any kids, he tenses up and looks around uncomfortably, almost as if he was trying to escape. Hinata could easily tell that Komaeda had little to no experience with kids. At all.

Still, it's not like they have actually ever had the topic discussed between the two of them, the topic was never brought up to begin with. Perhaps if they were to talk about it, then maybe...

Hinata wasn't exactly sure how to bring up the topic to Komaeda, but he found the perfect opportunity while eating dinner. Taking a deep breath, Hinata sent down his chopsticks and said,

"Hey Nagito, what do you think about having kids...?"

At that moment, Komaeda almost choked on his food, but surprisingly he managed to keep his composure. "K-kids, Hajime?"

If the topic wasn't as serious then maybe Hinata would have laughed at his reaction, but now wasn't the time. "Yeah, kids. We're both getting close to our 30s, and most of our friends already have families Nagito, and I've really been thinking of starting one with you too..."

Hinata spoke slowly, as to make sure not to say anything wrong. Komaeda on the other hand, felt like the world was going into overdrive. He didn't think Hinata would ever want to have this conversation with him. Kids? Hinata wanted to have kids with him???

To anyone else that may seem like a normal thing, but to Komaeda it wasn't, it really, really wasn't. In his mind he could just think of the many things that could possibly go wrong with having a kid. What if they get horribly sick? What if either one of them end up ill or even die? What if they grow up being a murderer? Or a kidnapper? Or a-

"Nagito? Hey look at me!" Komaeda snapped out of it, focusing back on Hinata who looked at him weirdly. "No, the answer's no Hajime." Komaeda said instantly, feeling his nerves get the best of him. At first Hinata looked confused, and then even a bit hurt (which hurt Komaeda way more than it should've), but he stood his ground.

"Hajime, do you know what responsibilities come with having kids? It's not just rainbows and butterflies, anything can happen to them, especially with scum like me, hell they can probably die if they come near me!" Komaeda raised his voice on the last part, because it definitely could happen. If he was responsible for the death of his own child, then he wouldn't even able to live with himself.

"That's... not true..." Hinata weakly argued, now looking down and poking at his food.

Now Komaeda felt guilty, but... it was for the best. "I'm sorry Hajime, but no, I don't want any kids..." he finally concluded.

The rest of the dinner was spent in silence, neither of the two men really eating what was left of their dinner.

"That was... not how I expected this conversation to go...." Hinata couldn't help but think bitterly.