Note: This is a bit of a follow up to the In The Van chapter and will have lots more farting in it. Proceed with caution.
After finally finding their way back from that long van drive, the Beatles all headed back to their shared flat (which was really just one big room) and relaxed.. Well... Okay they were going to relax but George's constant flatulence kept them from doing so as they needed to constantly air out the room and get some air freshener shandy in case George happened to let one rip again.
"Jeez, how come that guitarist is so gassy all of a sudden?" John groaned as he opened his window for the 39'464'3946th time.
"Well I think it all started this morning." Ringo explained. "Now cue the flashback sequence!!"
"Aye aye Ringo!" John exclaimed as he randomly pulled a lever on some random machine that appeared out of nowhere. "Now just earlier before we were going out for our drive, George wanted to set the record for eating the most beans on toast in a single sitting. So he ate and ate and soon his belly was ginormous and full of thousands, probably millions of beans! But soon after he got up and out of his chair, his cute little butt began to rumble. It got louder and louder and only stopped once a big gas ball came out of it. He let out the biggest fart ever in his life! It shook the ground below and produced a stench tha-"
"John!! Why are you telling the readers in full detail about me farting?!" George snapped. "Also why did you describe my butt as cute and little?! My butt is anything but little!!"
".... I'm surprised you didn't complain about me saying it was cute."
"Well I guess the author wanted to really 'subtly' express that she ships us together also MY BUTT WILL BE BIGGER THAN ALL OF YOURS SOMEDAY!!!!!"
"Umm... Okay then George. Also we got an interview to do in half an hour so hopefully your flatulence will stop then."
Then George began to panic. "An.... Interview?... Today?.. In half an hour?!.. I dunno if I can be ready for that..." He stuttered before heading into his bed. Tugging at his.. Um... Medium sized bottom, George tried to keep himself from letting another one rip, but with no luck. "Ugh.. Might as well be called the Silent But Deadly Beatle now." He grumbled. "I know quiet didn't really suit me but I don't want my nickname to change just because I fart a lot!"
Soon it was time for the interview to start. George kept a tight hold on his butt cheeks, squishing them together to make sure that another fart wouldn't escape. But little did he know, by doing holding everything in a mega fart was being created inside him. Not only that but he did end up looking slightly swollen as he kept holding in all his gas. Thankfully no one seemed to notice.
"Now Mr. Lennon we've heard that you went on a vacation skiing in the alps with your wife, did you have fun there?" One of the reporters asked.
"Oh yes of course!" John replied. "I'd love anything as long as my dear sweet Cynnie is there with me. I'd even go to an old cheese making shop if she wanted to. I might even go to an art gallery if she wants to!"
"Very nice, glad to hear that. And Mr. McCartney, do you plan to propose to Miss Jane Asher anytime soon?"
"I dunno really. Not much of a marrying person to be honest. Kinda like with Dot Rhone back in high school, I might not really settle down with her just yet."
"Alright, and now you, Mr. Starr, is that your real name? Starr?"
"Nah it's just a nickname. My real name is Richard Starkey. I just called myself Ringo because I wear four rings on each hand. Couldn't fit them up my nose unfortunately."
"Haha. Very funny. Oh! I almost forgot about Mr. Harrison!"
George then groaned, worried that something might set off his booty and he'll fart again, but he held it in as the reporter addressed his name. "Yes? What do you want?" He grumbled.
"We've noticed that you've been hanging onto your bum all day, is there any reason for that?"
"I..... Umm... I just.. My pants are really itchy! Yeah that's it! I was in a hurry getting changed and then I just put these on and didn't realize how itchy they were. I have to keep a tight hold of my bum in order to make sure that I don't scratch myself during this interview."
Soon after answering some more stupid questions, the Beatles were finally allowed to leave. "Oh yes! About time too!" George cheered, but then he realized that he had taken his hands off of his butt and gasped. "Oh crap!! Take cover everyone!!!"
They didn't need to be told twice as the entire place was evacuated as George let out one big stinker. A fart so strong and awful smelling that anyone within a five mile radius would instantly be knocked out. "Oops... I guess sitting there for so long made me able to create a super fart." George said while blushing.
"Ugh.. You gassy guitarist!!" Paul snapped. "You really need to lay off the beans from now on!"
"Alright alright no more beans for me.. I think I'll stick with prunes from now on, I love those fruits!"
"...... On second thought you can have all the beans in the world.."
