Here's a silly (and kinda gross) oneshot made for @NJ2001 's Banana Story contest! I hope you like it! 😃
It was a day just like any other in the Lennon's Kenwood mansion, Julian was asleep in his crib, Cynthia was reading magazines in the living room and John? Well he was busy doing his business in one of the bathrooms and was definitely taking his time in doing so.
"Phew.. That's a big one right there. Okay I think I'm emptied out now."
Closing the lid down, John pulled up his trousers and flushed. "Wait what's that noise?.. Oh great.. Cyn!"
Hearing her husband call, Cynthia put down her magazine and ran upstairs to the bathroom. "What's wrong Jo-wait.. Please don't tell me you clogged up the toilet again."
"Um... Okay. I didn't clog up the toilet again." John joked.
"Very funny. Time for me to call the plumber again. How does someone keep managing to clog up a toilet?"
"No clue really. I should probably get this checked out at a doctor."
"Yes, I hope nothing's wrong with you.. You will be okay on your own at the clinic will you?"
"Course I will Cyn. It's not like I'm going to the dentist. Now that's horrifying!"
The very next day after working on the Beatles' second album in the recording studio, John made his way to the local clinic to have his bowels checked out. "See anything bad in there doc?" John asked.
"Hmm... I don't see any parasites. But I do notice that your stool is very hard and comes out in large clumps. A sign that you haven't been eating enough fiber."
"Fiber? Where do I find that? I haven't seen any fiber stores around here."
"Well fiber comes from fruits and vegetables. You have been lacking in those I see."
"Well do you know how much one apple costs nowadays?"
"Hmm... Well I can give you some bananas that might help with your bowel movements. One sec I'll go and get them."
The doctor then went into the cafeteria inside the clinic to search for the long, yellow fruits. "Ah, there they are. Now to get them back to John." But in his way back, he accidentally dropped the bunch into a pot full of a foamy, white liquid. "Oops. Well I guess it only got on the peels. This shouldn't be too much to worry about."
But what he didn't notice was that the pot was labeled Fast Acting Laxatives. "Okay Mr. Lennon, I have your bananas. Now make sure to eat them as soon as you get home. Best get your fiber as soon as possible."
"Right Doctor Robert. Thanks for the fruit." And with that, John made his way back.
"Phew.. That was a long walk." John panted. "Hope I can get my driver's license soon. Or maybe even a chauffeur if I got the money."
"But I thought we were rich Daddy." Julian asked.
"I know, but that doesn't mean I'll just blow all our money away on things like private planes or a TV movie with no plot at all. Anyways, I'd better get to chowing down on these bananas."
Sitting at the kitchen table, John peeled the yellow fruit out of their skins and took a bite out of one. "Wow! This banana is so sweet! I think I'll eat them all in one go!"
And so he did, after finishing a banana he would instantly peel open another and devour it too. Soon the whole bunch had filled his belly. "Now that was satisfying." He sighed. "Hopefully this helps with whatever's going on down there."
But suddenly he felt his bowels ache. "Oooooh... I don't feel so good.. MAKEWAY!!! I NEED THE LOO!!!"
Rushing to the bathroom, John instantly rushed to the toilet and did what anyone else would do when sitting there. "Whoa! Now that's some fast acting bowel movement right there." He joked. "Umm.. Is it supposed to be that fast?"
Once he finally got up and flushed, he washed up and gave a sigh of relief when the toilet wasn't blocked for once. "I guess something good came out of those bananas. Aw who am I kidding? Those yellow devils gave me diarrhea! I don't think I'll ever look at a banana the same way again."
"How could one banana bunch do that to you John?" Cynthia asked him as she sprayed the bathroom with air freshener and opened the window to let the stench out.
"No clue, unless that Doctor wanted to drug me!"
"I doubt he did that on purpose."
"Why do you say that?"
"Haven't you read the previous paragraphs? He accidentally dropped them into fast acting laxatives."
".... Oh. But I still won't be eating bananas for a long time that's for sure."
