"So Paul how did that beauty pageant go?" John asked Paul after seeing him walk into their flat.
"Oh it was amazing! Too bad I was only a judge and not one of the contestants." Paul sighed. "I would have won in a landslide!"
"Oh I wouldn't bet on that McCartney." John sneered. "Haven't you seen how hairy you are? My body is so soft and smooth that I would easily beat you!"
"Yeah well I heard the birds dig what's in the crotch." Ringo called to them. "And you all know that I'm the biggest!"
"Yeah well the size of your... Umm... John what do we call that thing in between his legs in a G-rated story?"
"Ummm... His banana?"
"Thanks John, now I can't finish my banana." George grunted.
"Well too bad, we can't use the P word so we'll have to call it a banana. Also Ringo you'll be wearing clothes so you can't show off your banana."
"Aw. Well at least I have the second biggest butt, they can judge that!"
"But who's going to judge us? We can't go onto a real beauty pageant since they only judge birds."
"Yeah that might be a problem.. Hmm.. I know! We can get our girls to judge us in our own little contest. We'll all go out in fashionable outfits and then I'll win for sure!"
"Knock it off Paul. Everyone knows I'M the best Beatle."
"Oh yeah? Then how come I get the most fan mail John?"
"It's probably all about your nose Ringo. My cheekbones are so sexy I'll win instantly!"
"Oh yeah? Seriously George? Cheekbones? Everyone knows that the birds all care about the butt! And I have the best booty ever!"
"Oh please, everyone knows girls go for the thighs!"
"Hey everyone! Leave the arguing for the contest! Right now we need to call our girlfriends and tell them to be judges."
Soon they had arrived and the Beatles were all in their rooms getting whatever outfit they were planning to wear. John originally planned to go naked but since his son was in the room he instead put on a green suit with black stripes and a hot pink tie that had cat faces on it.
"Ugh what the hell is he wearing?!" Pattie groaned. "I'm a model myself and I know that whatever he's wearing would immediately be taken away by the fashion police."
"I dunno Pattie I think he looks cute in it." Cynthia replied.
"I like it!" Julian chirped.
"Well of course you would you're a toddler." Jane retorted. "And I'm sure Cynthia's only saying that because she's his wife and she doesn't want to upset him."
"Well Cyn picked this outfit for me to wear on our anniversary." John replied proudly.
"Ugh.. I just hope Julian won't grow up to have an awful fashion sense like his parents." Maureen grunted. "Well who's next?"
Then Paul strutted out in a hot pink suit with a frilly shirt underneath. "Well ladies, like what you see?" He smirked.
"Oh yes! I love it!" Jane squealed.
"Hot pink? Paul what is it with you and then color pink?" Cynthia asked.
"Well I think he rocks in pink." Jane replied.
"Well I don't think so. And who wears frilly shirts anymore?" Pattie groaned.
"I saw Ringo wear one at the premier to Help." Maureen responded.
"Ugh. I hope those things go away soon. Frills just don't go well with suits."
"Well I think they do. Right Jane?"
"Right Paulie."
"Ugh.. NEXT!"
George was next, but he didn't even bother to change into a different outfit and just wore the same Beatles suit he had on.
"Aw come on George, you didn't even try!" Jane groans.
"Well that suit does look very good on my Georgie." Pattie retorted. "Sometimes the usual wear is the best."
"Really? You're a professional model and you say that?" Cynthia grunted.
"Well who says a professional can't have fun every now and then?"
"Well I suppose he could have worn something worse.. Like a poofy shirt and pants with flowers on them." Maureen responded
Last but not least was Ringo. He came out wearing the exact same outfit Paul put on, only his suit was blue and his frilly shirt was yellow.
"Ringo you copycat!" Jane growled. "You don't even look good in frills!"
"Well he's not wearing pink which is a good sign." Maureen responded. "And blue compliments yellow, so he's a winner to me!"
"So far we've only complimented our own husbands and boyfriends." Cynthia realized. "I think they should have gotten actual judges for this contest. Now they've just ended in a four way tie."
"Aw. We all tied? I was hoping I would win!" John groaned.
"You win? I thought I would win!" Paul argued. "Look at what you're wearing!"
"Wait! Guys I think this might be a blessing in disguise." Ringo said. "We shouldn't have to compete with one another because we're all winners and are all handsome in our own way. It's what's on the inside that counts."
"Well... Yeah.. I think I'm with Ringo here. We each have different fashion tastes and we can all appreciate our decisions." George agreed.
"Hmm.. I think I agree with you guys too. Well this is a sappy ending." John said.
"John stop breaking the forth wall okay? We broke it so much in all our stories it's now just a pile of rubble."
