Bill's Magic Socks

Chaper fieve: a quick break

I bet you're really confused. First the toaster and then the whole Bobert thing. I bet you really want a break. So just pick up a controller and go game. Or get friends and maybe play with them. You could also read another book. Possibly Hojekuin's Curse. That book is really interesting. It's rated a 500 on rotten tomatoes. And ign. And steam. Anyway... you're still here. I'm telling you this is the perfect opportunity to do something with ur life here I'll wait for you.
    Hey, you guys know Spielberg is coming tomorrow to shotlist and storyboard. This story needs to turn back around and be GOOD for him and his crew! Gosh.
                   
    Teh toaster had magic aloominum and it could fly like a donkey with a jet pack. It was pretty sik.  Teh toaster grabbed Bobert before he hit the the bottom of thie bottomless pit. That wasn't that hard. Den the toaster safely set Bobert down. Bobert wus still homeless, u no. Billiam was very far away now, It had taken 3.1415926 seconds to save Bobert and eagles fly pritay fast. So, teh toaster used his sniper to shoot Bill with big breds. What did Bill have again? Oh yeah, Bobert's magic socks. Wait wait wait- didn't we already decide that the socks belong to Billiam? *author sighs a big sigh*.

    Ashley, New York Times already decided this book was the best book of the year. Are you really going to let one of the most important cities in the world down? Ashley, why are you packing your brief case? Is this a resignation letter? ASHLEY PLEASE YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE! WE NEED YOU AND YOU NEED US, IT'S A SYMBIOSIS ASHLEY! NOOOOOOO! Dang! Who am I going to blame everything on? JIM? I'M COUNTING ON YOU FOR A GREAT CHAPER FEIVE! Okay, I feel better now. Oh, you're still there! She'll be back she's just going on uh, brunch break. She eats a lot... and very, very slowly. What was I doing? Oh yeah, the book.

    Billiam didn't see no big breds until something bit him in the buttocks. It wuz a big bred. Billiam still hadn't found Bubba, but that's beside the point. The point is lieutenant Dan's legs got blown up, just like Bill's magic socks. The bred hit Bill and blew up into 3.1415926 pieces and wun of dem hit da socks. Billiam started to fall from da sky and right below him was a desert? Dis wuz good cuz even tho he was blown up, his pieces would be okay and he would land safely in a desert near kennedy space station. Billiam landed in the desert safely. Den Bobert landed beside him. Bobert took owt a knife and sta- oh my GOSH!

JIM! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Why is everyone on this crew so idiotic and stupid? WOW! IT HAD TO BE ME, HUH? COULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOLKEN OR HEMMINGWAY. NOPE, IT HAD TO BE INSERT AUTHOR NAME HERE! Okay, now that my little tantrum is over, back to the story.

Bobert DID NOT take out a knife, he took out his uh... fists and um... hit him! Yes he hit him! Not stabbed, not brutally murdered, punched. Slapped. Kicked. Hit. Dat didn't make Billiam very happy. He whipped out a knife and stabbed Bobert. Murdered him. Killed him. Brutally committed homicide. Bobert did not have a body anymore, he had a corpse.
Yes, he was dead again.
Very, very dead.
And homeless. But not as much as he was dead, or wuz he?
Bobert's hand shot up and latched onto Billiam's neck! Billiam wuz chokin and strugglin when the toaster started to choke Bobert! He/She/Other was trying to save Billiam! But, Billy's life started to flash before his eyes and he remembered when Bobert was just the friendly old homeless guy with the magic socks that Billiam sometimes talked to. Then Bill realized, he was in love! Bobert was the man of Billiam's dreams!

Wait a second. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being sexist or homophobic or anything like that. I mean in this day and age I have to put that disclaimer because anytime somebody says "Hey, that Gyterimia is gay or bi or pan" some one says "AND IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT DEBRA? DO YOU HAVE A PROOOOBLEEMMMM WITH THAT DEBRA?" So, I'm just putting out there that I support Bill and Bob's relationship but... JIM, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? THIS IS AN ACTION DRAMEDY! NOT A ROM COM! WHAT DO THINK THIS IS, A GAME? WELL, YOU'D BE WROOONG THERE SISTER, THIS IS REAL LIFE! Gosh, some people.

Then Bill realized, he liked Bobert and enjoyed Bobert's company. So, he took his knife that was originally supposed to murder Bobert I mean what hahahahahaha and STABBED THE TOASTER HAHAHAHAHAHA! The toaster struggled and squirmed in the sand, which kicked sand into Bobert's eyes causing him to stop choking Billiam. Everyone was happy.
Except for the toaster. He was dead. Really dead
He was also magic and evil, but not as much as he was dead.
Bobert said "I'm sorry I tried to kill you twice."
Billiam said "I'm sorry I killed you once. And stole ur socks the first time u died."
It's odd. Bobert had a very high voice. He had never really talked before. Especially when he was dead. He was very quiet when he was dead. Very quiet, but not as much as he was dead. And homeless