Forbidden (jason mcCann fanfiction)

Forbidden

When we got to Jason's home, I felt so much better already "I'm so glad you were a survival" he said with puffy red eyes

I looked at him observing and he just raised a brow as if he was confused with the look I gave him

"Y-you've been crying?" I ask as if it was a crime for his tears to spill

"I, n-no" he lied as he got up and turned around as if he was looking for something. I got up and went towards him as I hold his shoulder, his muscles soften and he turns to face me as he looked into my eyes and then down at my lips.

"Jason it's ok to cry, everyone cries. it's our nature, we have feelings. Don't feel ashamed or scared, don't I mean anything to you?" I ask as I back away a little to make him more comfortable.

"N-no, I just. I don't cry. I don't do crying anna, and for me it's not normal" he said as he looked away from me and at the wall

"You can't pretend like nothing ever made you cry in the past or present" I say "If I mean something to you then be honest" I say as I place a hand on his making our eyes meet once again.

"Your right, I cried because you were in danger, because it was all a mistake, everything I put you through was wrong. I love you. so much, but wasn't this a sign enough to signal that I don't deserve you? I can't anna. and as much as I the to say it, I can't be with you Anna. I don't want to ever see you again in such a critical condition making me overthink if I will have you in the next hour or not. I won't let you feel my pain just because I'm too selfish with you" he sighed with almost-tears spilling loose.

"W-what?" My voice broke along with my heart, it was worse than a trillion daggers stabbing me steel in the heart.

"Anna, were..." he starts with a gulp as he went pale

"Forbidden" he confirms with a million emotions shouting from his eyes.

My built glass around my heart just shattered with his first words.

"Is that it? Your ending... t-this?" I ask as a tear falls.

"Do not cry, stop it!" He said as he covered his eyes "why? Because it makes you realise how stupid you are?" I blurt "no because I can't see you cry because of me, or anyone else" he said as he uncovered his eyes and looked at the wall.

"Was that your final word?" I ask brokenly.

He doesn't say anything.

"I don't care if I am at risk, if that's the only way I can be with you then I'm fine with that. Please don't say that were over.." I say as I drop my head with fume trying to control my anger inside of me.

"I will check on you everyday to make sure your safe somehow but I can't have you hurt again" he said staring firmly at me.

"You've said enough Jason. I get it." I say irritated by him.

How can he say that were forbidden, that were over? No no. it was something that was bugging him. but I'm too angry. he rather end it all like this? I hate him.

"Well, I hope you know.." I say with shut eyes but soon open them with anger "that, I hate you. Your the last person I would ever want to look at again. Goodbye and have a nice life McCann. go use another girl like you did with me. thank goodness my virginity is still with me or otherwise I would've been a piece of shitty trash to you ages ago" I spat making his attention go wild.

Without another remaining second, he pinned me up against the wall with anger.

"Don't you ever for a minute think My intentions were of using you" he said with gritted teeth as his jaws clenched. to be honest that freaked the shit out of me. but who gives a fuck at this moment? No one.

I push him away and jerk out of his pressuring grip that hurt me lots.

"Get your hands of me, you are a player and nothing you say is gonna change that belief. fuck off Jason. your right, I might find someone who actually deserves me rather than use me worthlessly" I spat with rage. his chest rose up and down from the anger I knew was building up inside him.

But even if he roared out to the world how angry he was, I couldn't careless.

"Oh yeah.. best wishes of luck for your next girl" I say before slamming the door shut behind me making the glass that was beautifully crafted on the double doors vibrate.

I had to walk to the nearest bus stop because from here I couldn't find exactly where my house was and I surely as hell don't want to risk walking to wherever place I end up at.

I start walking down the road as the cold air hit my fresh face.

I had no makeup on and it made me feel a bit weird than always which wasn't the best feeling ever.

Maybe I should actually properly make up with Ella because I missed her as hell and I needed my girl talks. I always reject all her calls and delete all her messages. it was time I overcome my issues with her.

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I know it's a very short and I'm really really sorry for that. My course works are killing me, I've had so much studies lately and I have been going through a few family situations but never mind I'm quite more free than the past few weeks. I realised this chapter is kind of addictive at this point. so please engage with me and help me make the best of the next chapter. please go read 'darkly cursed' its on my reading list on my account. Check it out please! And if you guys leave comments and vote for that book I will update very soon but if you don't then there will be a delay because it just discourages me sometimes. so please just go read that book too cause I think it's just as great as this! Love all of you honestly it's unbelievable x

Ps. I think it's a bit dramatic how much they argue and the events that happen like her getting into hospital twice already makes me kind of rethink of how bad I'm actually at writing. But bare with me for a bit and I will make the book less dramatic haha x

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