Broken Until Him

Chapter 25 ~ Emotions

"Emotions. Such an unbelievably huge clutter that rules our life. They are decisive, they are painful, they are amazing.

Love as always been something presented as the ultimate feeling, once you love someone, you can't go further.

But we can go beyond that. I think love is just the first step to an indescribable mess of unnamed emotions, each one stronger than the other.

And since we can't put words on this whirl of feelings and emotions, we call it love. But this isn't loving. No, it's better.

I think the three words we say to express what we feel aren't what matter the most in our declaration. They are not the exact reflexion of what we truly feel, nobody can do that.

It's the emotions we put in them, the sincerity in the voice, and the person who says them that are the most important."

I step out of the car and shiver as the cold wind blows my hair in my face. I gather them in a high ponytail and quickly retrieve my belongings before I close the door.

We are halfway through the month of March, but it still feels like we are in December. I throw my bag over my shoulder and grab the black and white paper bag where the sales assistant folded the dress I just bought.

She better not has lied to me when she said I looked great in it because I will gladly go back in there and throw this overpriced blue dress in her face. I open the boot to grab the two grocery bags and place the shoe box on the top.

I'm leaving with Nathan and his family tonight for a whole weekend. I can't wait to spend two days with him, although I'm really nervous to meet his family.

When I agreed to come, my motivation was the time I could spend with Nathan. But now that I had the time to think about it, I can't help wondering if it's not too soon. I mean, he wants to introduce me to his entire family when he hasn't even met my parents properly. Is it him who is going too fast or me who is taking it too slow? Probably me.

A gust of wind rushed through me as I reach up to close the boot. I lose my balance and one of the grocery bags fall to the ground, along with the shoe box. I cuss at myself and bend down to pick everything up.

I place the other grocery bag on the concrete and carefully lay the black and white paper bag on it. A sigh of relief escapes my lips as I see that the white high-heeled shoes don't look damaged. I can't afford to pay for an extra pair and I don't have any shoes that would match the dress. For the moment, I still haven't figured out how I will be able to walk with these, but it shouldn't be complicated since a lot of women wear them.

I close the box and tuck it under my arm so I can put the groceries back in the bag. Another rush of wind freezes my body, but not only because of the cold air. The bag containing the dress flies away, falling on the dirty ground as the wind continues to push it further away until it lands in a puddle of mud.

"You gotta be kidding me!" I shout, letting go of the bottle of water I was holding to pick up the dirty paper bag.

I hastily look inside and see that the blue dress is now covered with brown strains of mud. Why does this happen to me, the girl who just spent two hours trying to find the perfect dress although she hates shopping?

I stand up with the dress still in my hand and reach for the keys in my pocket. I'm leaving in an hour, so I better hurry up if I want to have a clean dress for the wedding. I run to the front door, leaving everything on the concrete, and unlock it. I hurry to the laundry room, where I hastily put the dress in the washing machine and press a few buttons before it starts.