A chilly autumn wind hits my face. A golden leaf falls from one of the big trees that surround me. The grass under my feet has turned yellow. The sounds of the birds are no longer to be heard. It’s dead silence around me, but that’s what I like about this place. It’s peaceful. Beautiful.
It’s a place where I can hide from the reality. Where I can hide from the act my life has become. A place where I know things are still real. A place where I don’t need to act. Where everything is like it used to be, without complications.
I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, go to work, talk with my colleagues. Still things aren’t as they used to be… I swallow hard, telling myself not to cry. Not here. Not now. There’s plenty of time to do that later.
Today is October 15th. It’s been exactly eight years since Derek and I first met. Since that night in Los Angeles. It hits me that I never thanked Lea and Jen for dragging me to that night club. Without them I wound never had walked into that café. Without them I would never have met Derek. I tell myself I need to call them. Not today, but maybe tomorrow. Or the day after that…
I often come here when I can’t pretend any more. When I need to reload my energy. It’s such a beautiful place with the little lake and the old oaks with golden leaf. A family of swans used to stay in the lake during summer, but I can’t see them today. Maybe they’ve moved on…
The sky is bright and there are no clouds to be seen. The sun is shining from its spot in the middle of the sky. It’s not warming, though. I hug myself with one arm to stop my teeth from chattering. In the other I’m holding a big bouquet of flowers. Red roses, to be exact. They’re for Derek, because of our anniversary. He doesn’t fancy flowers very much, but it was the best I could come up with. We always give each other gifts on October 15th. Well… I guess I’ve been the one with most enthusiasm the last years. Derek has been… busy.
Another wind blows through my thin jacket and makes me shiver. The wind gets hold of my hair, makes it flow in smooth waves behind me. My eyes fill with tears once more and I quickly wipe them off with the back of my hand. The makeup is probably all messed up, but I don’t care. Not here. No one can see me anyway. Why would I care…? Why would I care when nothing matters anyway? Why would I –
“Katie…?”
The voice makes me jump high. I haven’t noticed the tears that flow down my pale cheeks.
“Are you coming?”
“Yeah… Yeah, I’m coming, Brad. Just… give a minute…”
“Sure, honey. Take the time you need. I’ll… I’ll wait by the car…”
My fiancé leaves me.
My body is shaking when I bend down and put the bouquet of red roses on the grave. The gravestone isn’t old, just two years, four months, twenty-one days and seven hours. His passion had killed him; the football had killed him, taken him from me. I am left alone in this world and I know that I will never love someone like I love Derek. But I know that he’d wanted me to move on. To find myself someone who can look after me.
“Happy anniversary, Derek…” I whisper and hug myself hard. The tears keep falling down my cheeks. I love him so bad. So, so bad. How can I tell myself that I love Brad when I feel like this every time I visit the graveyard? I close my eyes, stopping myself from thinking the thoughts I know so bad. I slowly turn around and walk away from the grave with the tears flowing in steams down my face. There’s no way I can stop them, but Brad won’t ask. He knows better.
I leave my heart by his grave. I leave it there, together with his name and the quote on his gravestone;
“Don’t Stop Believin’”
The End.
YOU ARE READING
Don't Stop Believin' (COMPLETED)
Teen FictionI was in love with the drunken guy who had dredged me up in a cheap cafe on that trip to Los Angeles. It sounded crazy, insane, but that’s how it was. And I didn’t give a shit about it. There was only one little problem... I didn't knew more abo...
