Don't Stop Believin' (COMPLETED)

12. Used To

USED TO - DAUGHTRY

A/N:

Here's chapter 12 for you guys. Hope you enjoy :)

Please comment/fan/vote if you like it :D

Love Mattie

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"You did what!?" Derek exploded and stared angrily at me. His whole body shook with anger and the whole reaction reminded me of an overprotective father.

"Nothing happened!" I promised and tried to avoid his gaze. I felt horrible. Tears burned in my eyes but I couldn’t cry now. Not in front of everyone. The entire classroom was dead silent and everyone looked at us. My cheeks were red and it started spinning in my head, just like it always did when I got too much attention.

"You promised ..." Derek started but I interrupted him, to his great chagrin.

"Derek, can we talk about this outside?" I asked and Derek flew up from his chair.

"Sure," he said and disappeared out of the room. I followed him, but turned around in the doorway. Jonas gave me a disappointed look and Zoe smiled to herself. Why did she smile!?

Derek couldn’t stand still in the hallway. He kept going back and forth, cursing quietly to himself. The early afternoon sun was shining through the windows and made his dark brown hair shine. If his chocolate brown eyes had been lit by that crooked smile I swear I had fainted there and then. But his eyes weren’t happy. His eyes were dark and reminded about the eyes in my dream.

"I can’t believe you did that ..." Derek complained and leaned against the wall. "What do you see in that idiot?"

"Nothing," I replied, still avoiding his gaze. I didn’t like the disappointment I saw in them. But even though I had found a very interesting spot on the floor, I saw that Derek looked at me.

"I promise that nothing happened," I said again and felt my voice caught a little in my throat. I felt like a seven year old who got blessed by her father, which felt all wrong. I wanted to cry at the thought that I had made Derek Downhill, my prince charming, angry and disappointed. I had lied to him and I knew that all of this was my fault.

"Yes, you said that..." He sounded so angry that I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear into the earth. Derek’s clenched fists shook with anger and a question began to take shape in my head. I just didn’t know if I would dare to ask. Derek began to babble, but the sound of his voice made my brain melt and the meaning of his words never reached my consciousness. The only thing that mattered was that I had found him again, even if he hadn’t found me.

"What do you have against him?" I suddenly heard myself say. "Why do not you tell me to stay away from Jonas or Eddie? Why is it only Jimmy you mind?" The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Derek froze where he stood with his back towards me.

"You wouldn’t understand ..." he began and refused to turn around.

"Help me understand ...!" I prayed and felt tears burn. No! I wouldn’t cry now ...

"You can’t..." he tried and it stabbed my stomach when he used that sad tone. Was it possible to feel so weak for someone?

"You don’t want to tell me ..." it dawned on me. Obviously he didn’t want it. We were just partners, not friends. Acquaintances, not more than that. My eyes slowly filled with tears and I was eternally grateful that Derek didn’t see me.

"No, that's not it ... I CAN’T tell you, okay?"

"Shouldn’t we be honest with each other? How are we suppose to work together with each other if we can’t even talk properly!?"