UnLoved

Chapter 32. Hospital Blues

I couldn't feel anything. But then I felt lips on mine. I felt air in my lungs and a towel wrapped around me. I was in arms. They were Vic's. I opened my eyes and my head hurt. I was too weak to move. My first thought of waking up was that he saw me naked, and the second was that I had failed again. I couldn't do anything right. I didn't lock the door. I thought he was asleep.

He had tears running down his face but I couldn't lift my head to see anything else. "Oh god!" He cried as he buried his face in my chest. I felt him sob against me and it broke my heart. Every other time I attempted I never seen anyone shed a single tear. My aunt would pretend nothing happened. She was good at that.

I heard sirens outside. He had called 911. Of course he had. He found me floating in a tub not breathing.

"Kells, they're just going to make sure you're okay." Vic's calming voice soothed me and I realized I had closed my eyes. When I opened them I was in an ambulance. I had done this too many times. I get sent to the hospital bed rest for two days there and sent home with someone (usually my aunt) keeping a 'close eye' on me for two weeks. They'd give me anti depressants but that just made me feel worse. I'm sure Vic would know that, I'm pretty sure he's had them before too. Vic was in fact sitting beside me holding my hand. I wasn't wrapped in a towel anymore. It was one of those scratchy paper gowns. And I had a breathing thing on my face which was making me feel less dizzy. I wanted to take it off to kiss Vic though. I grabbed at my face until I felt it and heard a voice I didn't recognize telling me no.

"Kellin, it's helping you. If you're trying to talk or something you'll have to wait alright. There's plenty of time for that when we get there okay." I nodded softly and closed my eyes again.

I woke up in the hospital freezing. I had the hospital gown on the it was pulled down to my waist so the doctor could look at my chest and listen to my breathing. Vic was there and I was embarrassed. I was cold and my nipples were hard, I bet he noticed. And the fact that the doctor was a guy wasn't helping my embarrassment either.

The doctor and Vic talked for a bit. The doctor said I was fine and told him about the bed rest and watching over me. I expected all that but what I didn't expect was to hear Vic say that he would live with me and look after me for two weeks. I was still to weak to sit up. I had forgotten why I was so weak and tired and it hurt my head to try and remember.

I woke up not remembering falling asleep. The sun was rising and Vic was sitting in the little uncomfortable hospital chair. I giggled. I took the breathing thing off my face. I felt stronger now and I could breathe myself. I sat up and giggled some more. I wasn't dizzy. My laughing must have woke Vic because he opened his eyes and wiped them groggily.

"What are you doing silly? You don't have to be down there. Just come lay with me." I giggled some more and he looked at me weird.

"Kells, do you remember what happened?" He asked in a deep voice.

"It hurts to try and remember. Your voice is sexy." I bit my lip and giggled again. I tried to remember and that's when the giggling stopped and the embarrassment and depression came. I was so stupid and embarrassed. What had I done. I let myself get to that point again. I remember slicing my wrists to the point that I was dizzy and then getting in the tub. I remembered waking up in Vic's arms. He saved my life. And I remember kissing Oliver and Vic kissing Bianca.

"I-I remember." I whispered sadly before looking away. I rolled so my back way facing Vic and laid back down. I felt my wrists and I had an IV in one of them. I also had deep fresh cuts on both of them and they had bandages wrapped up until the IV in one arm and wrapped up all the way on the other arm. I pulled the blanket over my shoulders and closed my eyes. Sleep was the only way I could escape. I heard myself breathing and the machines beeping. The room was so silent and dull. As Vic walked around the bed his footsteps echoed.