Unexpected (Montgomery De La Cruz)

I shouldn't feel like this (Monty)

I shouldn't feel like this. I have a girlfriend now, one that I have genuine feelings for. So, why can't I get Madison off my mind? Why do I get jealous every time I see her flirting with Bryce? Why did I want to kill him whenever they announced that they're dating now? Why did I feel betrayed by all of my so called friends whenever they were overly happy and supportive of Madison and Bryce? Why is she still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen? Why do I keep imagining her with a cute little baby bump and glowing? Why do I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying 'I love you, Madison.' whenever I'm talking to Julie? Madison had stuck to her word, we were nothing more than cordial ex's now. It killed me but I knew that she didn't want me begging for her friendship anymore. I felt like a part of me was missing though. I only had two weeks before graduation and although I should be happy to get out of school and start my life with Julie, I couldn't help but to feel an overwhelming heartache that I would  never see Madison again. I knew she was going to make sure of that. I wanted to be happy for her if she was truly happy with Bryce but I couldn't find it in myself to be happy for her. I gritted my teeth and looked away every time they so much as touched each other. I stopped going to Bryce's house as much in fear that I would see something I didn't want to. After a few days, I stopped trying to talk to Madison or wave at her in the halls. She honestly didn't want anything to do with me. Was I ever going to get over Maddie or was she going to be permanently ingrained into my heart and mind for the rest of my pathetic life? Madison was my drug and I had overdosed on too many times and it was time for me to get clean.

"So, I was thinking we could get an apartment in the city as soon as you graduate. What do you think, babe?" Julie asked me while we were laying in her bed. "Sounds good." I mumbled back. I heard her sigh next to me and while a small part of me felt bad, the majority of me didn't care. "Do you still want to be with me, Montgomery?" She asked while placing her hand on my bare chest. I gave her a small smile and placed my hand on the back of her neck. "Of course I still wanna be with you, Julie. You're perfect for me." I whispered and she smiled before leaning down and connecting our lips. The kiss got heated and I rolled her over so she was under me. Julie was sexually experienced in ways that Madison never was. At first I loved that but now, I couldn't help but to miss Madison's innocence. I dug my nails into Julie's shoulders whenever I thought about her having sex with Bryce. She gasped in pleasure before rolling us back over, she took complete control once she was on top. I enjoyed watching her but I felt even more turned on every time her face turned into Madison's. It sent me over the edge and she finished at the same time. We exchanged I love you's before we both rolled over and let our heavy eyes close. My dreams were filled with Madison, just like they had been every night for the past two weeks. They always consisted of the same thing, her telling me how much she loved me with a smile on her face, us getting married, us having three kids, and growing old together. I woke up with a broken heart every morning once I realized that that was never going to happen. My life was going to be spent with Julie, I had decided on that. If I could get through just two more weeks of being haunted by Madison, than maybe I could manage to get her out of my mind forever.

Graduation was simple and easy. The hard part, was the after party. Pretty much the whole school was there, including Madison. I couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt my feelings whenever she told everyone except me congratulations on graduating. I stood off to the side with a drink in my hand, watching her weave her way in and out of the crowd. She had a bright smile on her face and I couldn't help but to blush at the sight. I missed seeing that smile directed towards me. "She looks good tonight doesn't she?" Bryce smirked next to me. I rolled my eyes at him and started to walk off but he caught my arm. I looked back at him with an annoyed expression but it softened whenever I saw him give me a genuine smile. "You shouldn't leave while being on bad terms with her. I know that you love and care for her. Don't part ways like this." He said to me before walking off, leaving me completely confused. If they were together, why would he want me making up with his girl? That's when it dawned on me. Why would Madison ever get with Bryce to begin with? He wasn't her type at all. The more I thought about all of their actions, the more I started to realize that everything seemed very staged and played out. Every kiss seemed too cheesy and they weren't ever like that unless I was around them. Our friends would never be happy about their relationship to the extent that they acted.  I knew how Maddie was whenever she was in a relationship and it wasn't the theatrical "oh my gosh, I'm so in love" that she was playing out with Bryce. I chuckled whenever I realized that I had been defeated. Madison had won this round. Her and Bryce were obviously trying to make me jealous and make me feel the way that she did whenever she saw me with Julie and damn did it work. I sighed and looked down knowing that tonight still had to be our last goodbye. I was with Julie now and I truly did love her and wanted to be with her. Even if I ended things with Julie though, Madison was just too good and pure for me. I never did anything but hurt her over and over again and I couldn't bring her back into my crazy fucked up life. She deserved more than I could ever give her, she deserved the world and that just wasn't something I was capable of giving. I was too selfish and she was too selfless, we were utterly toxic together. I smirked whenever I looked over and saw Maddie and Jessica dancing and rapping along with Lockjaw by French Montana. Madison loved rap music and would go along with it but she couldn't rap to save her life which just made it so cute. Hannah and Clay stood off to the side laughing and Hannah was recording Maddie and Jess. I got a notification on my phone and laughed to myself whenever I saw that Hannah was live on Facebook. I waited until I saw that Hannah was done recording them before I made my way over to them. Once Jessica, Clay, and Hannah saw me approaching they all nudged Madison and then walked off once she turned around to face me. "Where's your fake boyfriend?" I joked with a smirk on my face. I saw her eyes go wide and I laughed. "Your plan worked if that makes you feel any better." I said while leaning in closer to her. I heard her breath hitch in her throat so I backed up a little bit. "Look, I'm leaving for the city tomorrow with Julie so you'll never have to see me again if you don't want to but I didn't want to leave without telling you how sorry I am for everything that I did to you." I spoke up again. This time she was the one to take a tentative step towards me. "Thank you, Monty. That means a lot to me." She said with a sweet smile on her face. We were in a stare down and neither one of us wanted to break the eye contact first. I could see a million emotions in her eyes and I knew that mine probably mirrored hers. I took another step towards her and she gently put her hands on my arms. I knew it was wrong but I just wanted to feel her soft lips on mine one more time. If I was going to say goodbye, then it needed to be memorable. She looked up at me and I felt all of the breath sucked out of my body. No one would ever be as beautiful to me as Madison, not even Julie. No one was around so I took a chance and leaned down and connected our lips. I tangled my hand in her hair and she immediately melted into the kiss. It became more and more passionate before I finally pulled back to talk. "One more time, Maddie, please. For our final goodbye?" She studied my face for a minute before nodding her head. I grabbed her by the hand and drug her upstairs. What I was about to do was many levels of wrong but I couldn't stop, I had to feel Madison one more time. We kissed each other with more meaning than ever before stripping of our clothes and melting into one another. We fell asleep in each other's arms and it was the most peaceful sleep I had felt in months. Whenever I woke up the next morning, I knew my fantasy had to end. I carefully got out of the bed and quietly got dressed. I stared at Maddie's still sleeping frame for a minute before gently leaning down and kissing her head. I saw her eyes flutter a little bit but luckily she didn't wake up. I wouldn't be able to say goodbye if I had to say it to her while she was awake. I wiped a stray tear off my cheek and took a deep breath. "I love you. Goodbye Madison." And with that, I said my final goodbye and left to start my life with Julie.