Catharsis

xliv

Don't you even dare

Don't you even
Dare say I never
Cared about
You

I didnt leave
You because
I stopped caring
Or that

I never did
And that I was
Simply just
Pretending

I left
For me
And me only
And no

It's not
Selfish because
I rarely do
Anything for

Myself
I still don't
Love myself
Enough to

Not let toxic
People ruin
Me or
Waste my

Time

I still don't
Love myself
Enough to
Not intentionally

Or unintentionally
Hurt myself

But this time
I had to gather up
The courage
To leave

Before I can
Be hurt any
Longer

Night after night

I would cry

I would cry from
All of the
Frustrations of
Trying to

Love you

I would cry
From all the
Pain I had
To constantly

Keep in so
I wouldnt
Lash out
On you

But at the end
Of the day
I always cared
About you

More than I
Cared about myself

But one night

I decided that

That was the
Last straw

I had to go

I couldn't take
The pain any longer
Than I had

But that doesn't
Mean I
Never cared
In fact

I still do care

I still care for you and probably always will

Because once you love
Someone

You can't just stop
Because they
Hurt
You

Sadly you just can't

No matter how bad they were

So I don't hate you

I hate myself for continuing to love you