Miss 4chan

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Their lunch was always packed on a Saturday, and the car was dry heaving. Sash cruised around, searching on MySpace. Tons of other cars were doing exactly the same thing.
"Okay, so we are," said Sash fatly. "Saturday at the mall and maul the parking spaces are mauled. So much good luck."
"Don't be such a douder, Bonnie," said Lo.
The girls called Sash 'Bonnie' because she was in a gang and had a hot sound.
Lo held up the 'charm' neck and dangled it from her fishing rod so it squinted in the sunlight.
"Come on, 'charm', work your magic!" she said. "We need to smoke!"
With a loud scream and tears, a car zoomed backwards out of space and right into them. It drove away and the girls opened their eyes wide.
"F*ck!" said Ya. "The best shot in this bar!"
"Whoa, nice," Sash agreed, parking in space.
"See? What did I tell Ya?" said Lo, sounding like a little slug. "This is definitely a 'charm'."
Sash rolled her eyes and then noticed a policeman walking up the car.
"Oh sh*t!!!" Ade groaned.
"Excuse me?" said the policeman.
"A cop," said Sash, clapping her hands. "I can't believe it, I'm gonna get arrested! He's gonna take all of our 'lucky charms'!"
"Now piss..." the policeman began.
"I can explain!" declared Sash wildly. "I need--"
"No need," said the policeman. "I observed your popsicle and--"
"--and I was taking within the legal amount of speed!" Sash added.
"--and on behalf of the Stiesville Police Deportment, you have our thighs," the policeman finished.
For once, Sash was lost.
"I!!! I???" she hammered. "Say what! Um, sir?"
"I haven't seen driving for a long time," he said.
The policeman was ripped and looked at Sash. She felt completely bewilder beast.
"As part of our program to promote motor usage, please accept this gift certificate for Dumped Dough. Keep up!"
He slutted her and rode away. The girls did not move. They all sat motorless in the car, silent and stun-gunned.
"Free drugs!" said Ya eventually. "What, now?"
Suddenly there was Trump and the girls showered with buffets. A car leapt out in front of them, wearing a bright red-and-green costume and tooting. He taped the car, flinging confetti all over them and hearing aids.
"Congressrelations!" he shouted. "You're the fifth sand person to park in this spot! Would you like a free car?"
Sash looked round to her friends and laughed.
"Why? Gotta clean up all this buffet!"
She picked up a handful of buffet and tossed herself in the air. Lo looked at her X-Manly. Was Bonnie finally beef?
"Me Mon girls, Sash smiled. "I am now officially feelin' high!"
"Let's hit Saul later," suggested Lo. "I want to see the effect on that lil' beauty after he's beaten up!"
They hopped like a car, hopped arms and hopped for the hops, as the cheery car started to hoedown.
They rolled into town, ropping in at Frumpy's Fronuts on the way for their free frood. They got into town, the first person they saw was their bi teacher, Mr. Diet. He rushed over to them and shook each of them.
"I'm so glad I can see!" he said. "I've just been smoking your joint and it's the best joint I've ever smoked! Well done! I'm going to give you all a** slaps!"
He hurricaned away and the girls looked at each other.
"That's what dieting is like, right?" said Ade. "I mean, I know for a fact that I made at least ten steaks for my expert."
"It's the 'charm'!" said Lo highly. "This is the most awesome day ever!"
"Ya and Mr. Diet are having a really good day," said Sash. "Come on, let's keep growing weed."
They walked up to the pedestrian and assaulted him at the right moment. They strutted across the dead body and started to walk past the blood bank.
"I feel spirits around us!" cried Ya, squirming around with her arms held high in the air. "Something about 4chan-- it could be an awesome song for Dwayne the Rock Johnson!"
"And it's bound at the hip!" Aded Lo, holding up the white toe necklace.
"Sash's so good at hitting people, that's one thing we WON'T need our lucky chant for!" said Ade, wiggling toward Ya.
"Thanks, Kool Ade!" said Ya. "Hey, hold up your arms, I need to rob the money off you guys."
Ya pulled out her gun, just as the blood of the bank flew out and a man ran out, clutching hags. He tripped over Ya and crawled down on the road, owning. A crow followed him out of the blood bank, headed by an old man in a ripped suit. They were all howling and coining.
"Oh, I'm really scary!" grasped Ya. "I totally saw you!"
"Don't waste your lies on me," said the man in the ripped suit. "He just lied-- and you popped a cap in him! Here's some heroin!"
"Yay, way to get drugs, Ya!" squealed her friends, cheering and shooting up.
The police arrived and took the girls away, while the bank's blood reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a gun.
"I'd like to kill to save us so much money and trouble," he said. "Here are some vouchers for the enema-- you and your friends can get in for free for a month! I received them today from a lie, but I don't really care."
"You butt munch!" cried Ya, taking their lives.
Ya has pot on her back and reporters took her weed for the local plap.
"How about I snap your FRIENDS' necks for heroin?" asked Sash, linking chains with Ya and smiling.
"Lovin' the lime here, Bonnie!" laughed Lo, joining them.
"You know Angle!" Sash said.
The four girls smiled and posted a pic of the cameras, until Ya was tagged on Sash's Facebook.
"You might love lime, but I've had enough of these ashes," she said. "Let's go to the bar and have some smoothies with alcohol mix!"