I ended up falling asleep for a while. I glanced around worriedly, looking for a clock. It was on his table beside his bed, it read 7:31p.m. Almost jumping out of the bed, I hurried putting my clothes back on. I glanced at myself in the mirror where I saw Mr. Ash's reflection. I felt disgusted with myself. Not that he wasn't good looking, he was fine, but I never thought I would ever go so low.
I marched out, the sky only barely darkening. I could feel my hot tears roll down my face. A woman across the street stared at me suspiciously. I drove past her, ignoring her hard stare.
The sense of wrong seemed to build in my head. I began blaming it on Anthony. If I didn't love him in the first place I wouldn't be here right now. But I really couldn't blame him. I could have accepted his and Vera's relationship, maybe that could have changed things.
Already home in my drive way I parked my car and closed my eyes, remembering when I woke up that day.........
My head ached and I has forgotten about them till I saw her hold his hand. His face was so cold and hers so warm. I could feel myself slip again.
"I'm sorry Lina, but we love each other."
His eyes didn't give that spark hers did..................
I opened my eyes back up, the memories pain fresh as if it had happened today. The house lights were all on. Was someone visiting?
Climbing out of my car I fixed my shirt. I turned to automatically lock my car when I saw his car parked in front of mine. The shiny black paint glistened even in the dim light.
I closed my door with more than necessary force causing the voices to quiet down. Aidens voice was the one to stand out first. I opened the front door to see them sitting in my living room with my mom. I smiled and blew a kiss at Aiden who was playing with his building blocks on the floor. He tried copying me but ended up kissing his palm instead. It looked like some weird hand gesture. I still acted flattered by his efforts and pretended to blush dramatically.
"You're home later than I thought you would be." my mom said to me.
I looked up at her ''Yeah sorry about that. I just got so into it."
She rolled her eyes "Sure, I'll pretend like I believe that."
I turned and Vera's voice stopped me.
"Hey Lina.''
I just stopped and answered without looking at her "Hi"
My mother sighed. She was no one to say anything anyway. It was her who kept pressuring me to get out cause she thought I was ruining my own life. Besides, I had a reason.......
I shook my head, slamming the door behind me. I laid on my bed and thought of how much I hated thinking of him. It felt like pouring lemon juice on a bleeding wound. And I was still bleeding, my heart was ripped apart leaving no remains.
He lied to me by saying he loved me.What guy didn't do that though? Yet I wanted him to be different and he wasn't and isn't. Vera too who seemed so supportive, betrayed me. Deep inside I already forgave them. Something I could never show.
'Remember your motto Natalie!' I told myself.
"Laugh life off, life is too short to live with regrets. Forget the pain." I said out loud.
With sudden high self-esteem I got up wiping my tears away with force. Like Wheezy once said - I've been through a lot of shit but I'ma keep ma head up like ma nose is bleeding.
The confidence almost vanished when I saw her kiss him on the cheek. He just barely smiled at her. He was looking at Aiden.
Aiden's face brightened when he saw me "Come play!"
I sat next to him on the floor "What you building?"
My mom paid no attention, she was use to to me playing with him. Vera on the other hand wasn't. Her eyes stared me down until I returned her look.
"A castle." he said sweetly placing a triangular prism on top of a cube.
Suddenly a tear rolled down my face and I wiped it away surprised.
"Why are you crying?" Aiden asked me.
I laughed "I don't know, it just came out."
He laughed too "You should call a plumber daddy! She's leaking"
I looked up at Anthony and he smiled tenderly "She'll be okay. She always is."
Aiden went straight back to his blocks not knowing the meaning behind his fathers words. Was that the reason he never explained anything? My eyes went red. I got off the floor and into the hallway towards the kitchen.
A familiar sound of feet made me angrier.
"Are you okay?" Anthony asked.
"Now you ask?'' I asked angrily.
"Look, I'm sorry okay. I know I never got around to explaining things but it's that I couldn't and I mean I still......"
He cut off mid sentence.
"You still what?" I demanded.
He just stood there watching me. I felt that familiar tingle of love go through me and I breathed out slowly. The feeling was so pure and natural it outwitted the pleasure I received for only a second.
"I still love you" he whispered.
He walked towards me slowly as I processed his words. Impossible words. His hands touched my shoulders and I shook him off with pride and not wanting. I wanted him beyond what he could ever imagine.
"Don't mess with me Anthony." I warned.
He hesitated "Can you meet me somewhere so we can talk in private?"
I saw his eyes glance towards the now quiet living room. My brain told me to say no, but my heart said yes. Yet I always told myself to listen to my heart because my brain would tell me the right thing to do. What did I need to do now?
"Yes" I spit out before I could change my mind.
He smiled "I'll see you at the cafe down town at ten okay?"
I nodded "Sure."
Leaving to my room I could still feel him there. Waves of electricity radiated all over me. Had I done the right thing by saying yes?
I threw myself on my bed with an excitement that made me smile and get nervous. My mind was so distant to this feeling that it made me jittery.
"Why am I getting like this?" I asked myself out loud.
I smiled ' Because your in love' my brain responded.
