I didn't feel like myself in my grandmothers car. Or in the hot humid air of Austin,Texas. Concrete covered every inch, no trees to look at except the ones for decoration.
"You know we have to go to Florida right?" my grandma said.
I turned towards her "Florida? Why?"
"Your cousin Kaitlyn is getting married. She sent me an invitation and I already made the arrangements. You can come along if you like."
I sighed. Weddings, not my favorite kind of party.
"When are you leaving?" I asked.
"In one week."
"I will have to go back home by then, I only had a week because of spring break. Schools not over yet." I said making an excuse.
"Alright, fair enough. I'm just glad you came." she said smiling.
My phone went off in my hand, Mom.
"Hey mom" I answered.
"Anthony keeps calling but I don't know what to say to him since you two got in a fight." my mom went on, getting to the point.
"He doesn't need to know where I am. Just tell him I'm not there, that I am gone for the summer."
"Well okay, anyway how are you? Is my mom being nice?"
"Yes" I smiled "She's actually taking me shopping."
Grandma smiled as she drove.
"That's great honey, I'll talk to you later okay."
"Okay, love you."
"Love you too sweetie."
She hung up and I felt my chest shrink in me. Anthony called my home, he was probably sorry. Yeah I know he has a sex addiction problem but I'm not another one of those girls dying to have him. Star football player gave him the right to all the Varsity cheerleaders, he had no complaints. I began to rub my temples in frustration. I sure wasn't one of them. He had no claiming right to me.
Stop loving him Natalie! I yelled at myself. But the more I did, the more reasons I had to love him. Sure he's a man whore, but he's my best friend. The guy who stuck with me when I wasn't myself during my fathers death. The guy who took care of me and my mother when he couldn't even take care of himself. A guy who became my hope and strength. Why would I want to let go?
A new fear slipped in my head. Graduation. Would he move on to a different college and forget who I ever was. Would he forget and disappear from my life?
*******************
I was laying on my bed when my phone went off. I only saw the screen light up, my headphones were on full volume and I couldn't hear it ring. I stood, looking at the screen, Anthony. I stared at the screen for a few seconds before answering.
"Hello?"
"Don't hang up on me okay?" he begged.
"Speak or I will." I threatened.
"I meant it when I said I love you Nat. Your my life!"
I could hear the sad tone in his voice. But something ringed a false note. Why would he love an average girl like me?
"It can't be Tony! I'm not good enough okay, I'm not beautiful or amazingly gorgeous enough to desirve a guy like you."
Tears rolled down my face and I couldn't help the strange note ringing in the back of my head.
