DEADROSES | PHAN

-ˏˋ nine ˎˊ-

☾ ☽

"here." phil smiled, handing dan the navy blue college sweatshirt. "you can borrow it as long as you'd like."

dan took it, smiling gratefully. "thanks," he mumbled shyly.

phil grinned widely in a way that he hoped was reassuring. the chocolate eyed boy tugged on the sweatshirt over his shirt and it was, surprise surprise, far too large for him. he looked like he was drowning in cloth.

it had taken a considerable amount of nagging (and shivering) for dan to actually admit that he was cold, even though they were sitting outside at a restaurant and, unlike phil, he wasn't draped in a huge winter jacket.

the reason they were sitting outside, at a leaf-covered table under a cherry tree, was because phil was done with eliza's shit.

dan had been staying with him for almost a week, and it had been going amazingly. phil hadn't really realized how badly he needed someone around until then. having dan sitting on the couch petting luna when he got home, or in the kitchen helping him cook, was incredibly helpful and calming.

at first, dan was extremely introverted around him. he could hardly look him in the eyes, but he was still polite and grateful for everything phil was doing for him. but, slowly, he started opening up.

he would eat with phil, or sit closer to him on the couch, and smile at him with his eyes. it was nice to see him getting more comfortable.

"you okay?" dan touched his arm, but it was so light that it could have been a butterfly landing on him. "i can't believe she would say that to you," he said sympathetically. "i thought she was nice."

phil sighed, staring at his coffee mug. "yeah. she is, it's just, i guess..." he trailed off. "sorry for dragging you out here."

it was true; phil had practically forced dan to go out with him. he had gotten home from work much more fired up than usual.

"we're getting coffee," he had muttered, not even looking at dan.

and when he got back to the living room, dan was standing there, waiting for him.

"it's alright," dan said softly, taking a sip of his tea. "i needed to get out anyways."

phil licked his dry lips. no matter how hard he tried, he could not stop thinking about what eliza had said.

that morning, she had flipped out on him when he had once again mentioned the mural he wanted to do on the ceiling. she had gone way too far. what she had said wasn't even about the mural anymore.

she had told him he was trying too hard to make something work that wasn't going to, and that he was coming off as desperate.

"maybe," she had said slowly, exasperatedly, as if phil was a small child. "you just aren't good enough."

"maybe she's right," phil blurted, stirring his tiny silver spoon around the cup. he shrugged. "maybe i'm not good enough. maybe i did it all for nothing."

he looked up to see dan watching him, an unreadable expression plastered to his face. phil realized he probably didn't have any idea what he was talking about.