DEADROSES | PHAN

-ˏˋ forty three ˎˊ-

☾ ☽

phil had always thought love was very... repetitive.

and was it not? you kiss the first time, you cuddle, you have sex, you say the infamous three words, and that's it. maybe there's an ugly breakup stuck on the end there.

now he was thinking that was probably because he had never really been in love before. now, watching dan cower, his cheeks streaked with tears, his skin pale... it hurt. it hurt badly to see him like that. his chest ached and his stomach flipped, and he felt like he would do absolutely anything to get him out of there. anything. god, he couldn't get it out of his head that this was his fault.

love wasn't repetitive, it was a circle. a cycle, where everything just got better each time. sometimes it dipped, but you come back from it better than ever.

it took him a second to realize dan had caught him staring, and he blushed, looking away. he looked back, however, when dan let out a soft noise of pain.

"ah-"

phil watched as he cringed, his hands going to his chest, his jaw tight.

"does it hurt?"

dan looked up at him, and nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. phil approached him, sitting down beside him on the cold and presumably filthy cell floor.

"where?"

dan pointed to his chest, whimpering softly. phil reached out, touching the hem of his shirt, a question. "can i...?"

dan nodded, and phil gently pulled the shirt off over his head. he gasped. the flowers over his heart had gotten bigger, and there were more of them... a mini garden on his chest. it would be beautiful if phil hadn't been so worried about it.

phil caught dan reaching towards it, and he instantly knew what he was thinking. he grabbed his wrist.

"don't..."

dan whimpered, meeting his eyes. "i have to."

"no, you don't... that'll hurt you, dan. maybe they'll go away naturally...?"

dan let his hand drop, but he didn't look hopeful in the slightest. phil sighed.

"dan, i'm really sorry..."

dan looked up at him again, his head cocked to the side.

"why?"

phil licked his lips. "isn't it obvious? i... i abandoned you, and now you're... here."

dan shook his head, reaching up to touch his chin and bring his face up, his touch gentle. phil reached up to place his hand over dan's automatically.

"this isn't your fault."

phil searched his chocolate eyes, a shiver running down his spine. "why not?"

"because i understand why you did it." dan bit his lip. "i was mad at first but... i get it. you were scared... you didn't know how to protect me."

phil nodded slowly, eyes flickering over his face.

"but i need you to know, phil... you can't protect me." dan held a finger to phil's lips before he could speak, shushing him. "i'm something that isn't... normal. and i'm surrounded by dangerous things. and sometimes i'll need you to come save me, but sometimes... i need to figure it out myself." he pulled his finger away, allowing phil to speak.

"but what about..." phil trailed off, motioning at his chest. dan hummed.

"i'm pretty sure that's a side affect of falling in love. it hurts a little now, but... it's not killing me, is it?"

"is it?" phil repeated, his tone laced with worry. dan laughed.

"it isn't." dan touched his face again, drawing his thumb over phil's bottom lip. "and i forgive you."

phil felt like saying something else, apologizing again, but before he could get the words out dan's lips were on his. he couldn't remember who had initiated it, but frankly, he couldn't care less. dan's mouth was soft and ripped at the same time, like a flower petal, and phil was peaceful. it felt like getting what you wanted, or waking up from a nightmare and realizing nothing had been real.

when dan pulled back he gasped, eyes trained on phil's lips. phil reached up, and he could feel the tiny roses that had sprouted there. he should have been frightened, or surprised, but he just laughed, leaning in to kiss him again.

"um... guys?"

eliza's shrill voice cut into phil's consciousness like a knife, and he rolled his eyes.

"we're kind of busy."

"phil."

finally phil looked at her, glaring in her direction. "what-" he cut himself off. she was holding a small camera, the screen smashed.

"while you guys were kissing or whatever, i did something helpful," she muttered testily.

"that's great, eliza!" dan exclaimed softly, pushing himself to his feet, his tone genuinely happy. phil marveled at how forgiving that boy was. how was it possible for someone to be so kind?

they all flinched when footsteps started down the steps towards them, and dan backed against the wall again. phil moved to stand beside him, taking his hand. he could feel thorns cutting into his palm, but he remained.

the door opened, and jarvis's harsh tone echoed through the room.

"one question each."