DEADROSES | PHAN

-ˏˋ eighteen ˎˊ-

☾ ☽

dan didn't necessarily mean to be avoiding phil. in fact, it had been two whole days before he realized he was.

he felt so on edge all the time. he had started selling flowers again, had managed to buy new equipment- but he still felt kind of off. he felt like he was being watched, and he felt depressed. like he couldn't make himself talk to phil.

one thing about his new room was that it was between the bathroom and phil's room. and phil liked to shower in the morning, before making his coffee.

so that meant that every morning he had a half naked phil walking past his room, either with his torso wrapped in a towel, or at least not wearing a shirt.

this was a problem because;

1. dan also had to take a shower in the morning before they left and
2. dan's door was mostly glass, which meant phil could see everything (including if he was trying to grow flowers in the morning), and there was no chance of privacy. he meant to get a curtain, but it just hadn't happened yet.

not to mention 3, it was incredibly distracting.

that was probably why dan had been heading towards the kitchen, having woken up early to do everything he had to before phil got up, when he ran straight into him.

and yes, of course they hadn't talked for at least twenty four hours, and yes, the only thing covering phil's still wet form was a white towel tied around his waist.

phil let out an appropriate "oh," and dan sighed.

he laughed breathily. "dan."

"hi." dan avoided his eyes, quickly realized that was worse, and looked back up at him. "sorry, let me-"

he moved to step past him, but phil grabbed his arm. dan's eyes widened as his fingers wrapped around his wrist.

"wait a second," he said. dan waited. "are you... okay? you've been kind of quiet recently." he cocked his head to the side, his messy hair falling in his eyes. "are you mad at me?"

"n-no," dan stuttered, trying desperately to keep his eyes on the ground- not on his face, and not anywhere else that could be considered awkward. "i'm not mad at you."

it was true. he wasn't mad at phil, he was more mad at himself. it had been a really close call, and he couldn't believe he had let it get so far that he passed out in front of him. and then he had told phil far too much...

he probably thought he was weird now. which would be accurate.

"okay..." phil let go of dan's arm, and dan rubbed the spot where he had been touching. "are you okay then? how are you feeling?"

dan sighed. he asked too many questions. he cared too much.

"i dunno..." he nodded, tucking some hair behind his ear, looking up. "i'm fine, i guess. i feel better."

"good." there was a moment of awkward silence before phil nodded and continued down the hall. dan stared after him.

why did he have to have this curse?

➸

that night, dan couldn't sleep.

he tried everything- he thought about anything that would make him sleepy- but he couldn't. his mind was too full.

he sat up, reaching to the foot of his bed to pet luna. she seemed to be rather fond of him. he was glad. at least he had one friend here.

ever since he had passed out, he felt like a line had been crossed, somehow. he felt distant from phil again, and now being in this strangers house felt a lot more scary and cold.

and suddenly he wanted to apologize for having those feelings, even though phil couldn't read them. he felt bad for feeling this way about someone who had graciously let him into his home.

a light switched on in the direction of phil's room.

dan pushed the duvet off of him, standing up, his footsteps creaking. he wasn't wearing the shoes.

he stared at his feet for a few minutes before strapping in. couldn't risk it.

he walked as quietly as possible towards phil's door. he didn't know what he was planning on saying, but as he stood in phil's open doorway, the man beat him to it.

"come in," he said quietly, his voice slightly raspy from sleep.

dan didn't answer, just did as he was told, moving to sit carefully at the foot of phil's bed. he saw phil eye the shoes, but let it go.

"i feel like you're scared of me."

dan swallowed. he sounded kind of sad.

"oh," he said. wow. way to make him feel better.

phil reached to his bedside table, grabbing his glasses, and dan hugged his knees to his chest.

"much better," phil said, peering at dan through his glasses and messing up his hair. "wanna just... talk? we could play twenty questions or something." he scratched his head. "i want to know more about you," he added softly.

dan blinked, and shrugged. and then decided he was being ridiculous, and nodded.

"sure," he said weakly.

"he speaks," phil said happily, sarcasm creeping into his tone, and dan almost smiled. "wanna just take turns asking questions?"

"sure," dan repeated.

"alright... i'll go first." phil dragged his fingers through his hair. "where are you from originally?"

"born in london, lived here my whole life. what about you?"

"hey, me too." phil smiled. "your turn."

dan hesitated. what could he ask? he had a lot he wanted to know, to be honest. and he had plenty of time, so he just asked the first thing that came to mind.

"what's the one thing you want, more than anything in the world?"