DEADROSES | PHAN

-ˏˋ twenty five ˎˊ-

( sorry if this is bad uhh i'm rly stressed )

☾ ☽

dan's chest hurt.

he walked swiftly, his hands swinging at his sides and his shoes clanging underneath him.

he had been fine, he had been completely fine until the last few minutes. that's when it had started again, he had been brushing his fingertips along the shelf and... tiny daisies, popping up everywhere he had touched even lightly. he didn't know what was wrong with him but he needed answers. now. so he had left, slipped out while phil was distracted.

now he was about five minutes from jarvis's house. he had ducked into alleys, and side roads, so they couldn't follow him directly. he knew phil probably wouldn't understand, he might be hurt, but he had to do this.

he had to.

soon he could see the house down the street and the symphony's started again, swirling around his mind. he walked a little faster. his heart ached when he saw the devoid space in front of the house where his garden used to be.

"dan-!"

he cursed under his breath, and down the street he could see him, with eliza in tow. dan quickly figured he could make it to the door before them, but not with the shoes on.

of course.

he leaned over, unstrapping them and taking them off, leaving them in the street and starting to run. he could see phil doing the same but he still got there first, slamming the gate behind him and hopping up the steps two at a time. his feet were burning, and likely bleeding, but he didn't care.

he heard the gate open and phil call his name again, but his knuckles were already hovering over the wood.

"dan, please..."

dan paused. he was still panicking, his breathing was shallow and it was hard for him to reason right then, but he hesitated at phil's tone.

"dan," phil said slowly, starting again. "please don't do this, we can... we can get you a new piano. i promise..."

dan's heart swelled, and he turned to look at him, at his dumb jean jacket with dogs on it and his dad glasses. and how he looked cute even with that worried expression on his face. especially.

"it isn't about the piano," dan mumbled in response. phil frowned.

"what is it about, then?" his face dropped. "is it... me? do you just not want to live with me?"

dan flinched. "that's not it," he said firmly. phil took another step towards him.

"what is it then?" phil bit his lip, his jaw clenching. "don't shut me out, dan, i want to help..."

dan felt tears stinging his eyes and he shook his head, some hair falling in his eyes. "you can't... you can't, i know you want to. i just... i don't know who i am, phil."

phil seemed to hesitate but took another step forward, searching his face. "maybe i could show you?"

dan swallowed, watching him start up the steps, not sure if he should stop him or even how to do that. "how?"