RYÅN's P.O.V.
I jolted awake, sitting up, crying and shaking violently. I saw Bryce sitting next to me, smiling. I wish I could dream like him. I thought. I got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. I grabbed my blade, hidden from everyone but me, and stood in front of the mirror, mentally pointing out all the flaws of my body, and the voices pointing out the ones I missed.
"YOU'RE EYES ARE UNEVEN. YOUR HAIR IS UGLY. CUT YOURSELF ALREADY. YOU DESERVE IT. CUT." And I listened. I went straight to my waist and cut 12 lines, some overlapping each other. Then I went to my thigh and made 7 more lines, blood dripping out. I stopped only when I had to hold the counter for support.
I turned on the shower, making sure it was cold because I didn't want to take the hot water from everyone else. I got in and sat down, letting the water run down my newly pink hair. I started crying at the thought of my nightmare. After about 15 minutes in the shower, I got out and dried off, careful not to rub over the new marks. I put on my dark grey with blue stripes yoga pants and a crop top with short sleeves that says '*Rawr*' on it.
I went back into my room to see Bryce still sleeping and I grabbed my phone and earbuds and walked back out, leaving a note for him saying I was going for a walk and would be back soon. I put on my blue converse and walked out the back door, feeling the soft, morning air on my skin. I breathed in deeply, and exhaled, scaring a few birds that had landed on our porch.
Walking towards the woods, I plugged in my earbuds, turning on my 'GREY' playlist. Mr. Sandman by SYML started playing and I felt tears starting to flow down my face. I sang along, not caring who heard me. I got to the lake and stared at where I usually sat, and decided to walk around to the opposite side. Why? I have no idea. It just felt right.
I got to the other side and sat down, starting to cry, again, not knowing why. I laid down, head in the grass, body in the sand. The tears got violent and I started shaking. I felt my phone buzz and saw Bryce was calling me. I waited for it to go away, making it look like a missed call. I put my phone on do not disturb and set it down, closing my eyes.
~2 HØURS ŁÅTER~
I sat up, screaming as Harley slit my wrist in my nightmare. "SHE HATES YOU. EVERYONE DOES. I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE FOR YOU. TRUST ME. NOW GO HOME AND CUT. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP YOUR PAIN" I stood up, grabbing my phone and seeing 13 missed calls, 16 texts from Bryce, 8 from Ashley, and a whopping 38 from Harley. All asking where I was. I checked the time and saw it was 10 am. 3 hours since I left.
I started running home, not caring about the scratches on my arms from low tree branches. "THERE HE IS!" I heard a man yell, not Bryce, and started running harder, as they chased me. I felt a force from behind me knock me over. "Gotcha, faggot." He said. I recognized him from when he beat me up in the hallway. "GET AWAY FROM HIM" I heard Bryce yell, and his footsteps getting closer. The guy on top of me looked up just in time to be tackled by Bryce. With one punch to the jaw, Bryce knocked him out.
"Bryce, we have to go there's more of t-" there was a gunshot, a sharp pain in my shoulder and Bryce screaming my name before everything went black.
~8 HØURS ŁÅTER~
"I had the whole day planned- we would've all gone to lunch and then go to the movies then all swim in the lake. Then this had to happen." I heard Bryce explain to someone. "B-Bryce?" I stuttered, my voice raspy. I felt 3 bodies all hug me at once, knowing it was the three stooges I live with. "Ry- you're okay. They got the bullet out and patched it up. You're going to be okay." He quickly said. I noticed he was in his scrubs and Ashley was in her uniform. Harley was wearing a large t shirt and her pajamas from last night.
"C-Can I talk to H-Harley?" I stuttered, trying to remember what happened. "Of course," Bryce said, leading Ashley out the door. "Who c-changed me?" I asked, worriedly. "They said family should but I said that you didn't have any family close by and that I was the closest thing to family you've got so I did..." she trailed off. "Puddin, why? Why did you cut..." she asked, shakily. I started breathing quickly, my vision started shaking, and I started crying.
"Hun I- nightmare... voices... I'm not good enough..." I trailed off, the anxiety attack getting worse. "Breathe, Puddin, you're okay. Just- promise me you won't again?" She sounded so hopeful. "Hun- I don't know- I won't unless absolutely necessary, okay?" I compromised. "Ryan..." "Hun, I'm not changing that, okay? That's final." I stated, ending the argument. "How long until I can leave the hospital?" I asked, wanting to get out of here asap. "One week Puddin."
"Fuck."
A/N
Word Count : 918
Song : Mr. Sandman by SYML
Sad chapter... I'm sorry...
Hun- I'm really sorry... I took it too far...
