Champagne and pools|minizerk

How I'm feeling

I wait all day for Simon but he don't come. I sit by my phone waiting for a call from him, a text, something. Nothing. I get nothing. He don't show up night to see me either. I was so certain that they was going to let him see me. I was so certain that we was going to be fine. We was going to go back to our friends and have a happy ending.

I just want a fucking happy ending.

Instead it's 5am and I'm scrolling through the pictures of us on Facebook. Their videos of us exchanging kisses and crying. I want to see Simon. I want to go back to feeling as carefree as I was in them videos, them stupid videos that fucked up everything. Them stupid adorable videos of me and being reckless.

Why didn't we think people would take pictures. Why didn't we think that our parents would find out. I guess we was both so overjoyed we got away with parents evening we wasn't thinking. I sure as hell wasn't. I wanted everyone to know Simon was mine.

Now Simon can't see me anymore.

I start scrolling through the hundreds of posts people tagged Simon's parents in trying to get Simon back. They all miss Simon as much as I do. Everyone loves Simon. Everyone wants us back. I want to go back, I don't want this life.

At breakfast when my mum asks me how I'm feeling I respond the same I did at dinner. Fucking pissed off. I just want Simon back. I don't get them. They've had months to get over and they still haven't. Why won't they let us just be happy.

All I want is to be fucking happy.

At lunch when asked how I feel I said I was sad. Sad and pissed off. I want Simon.

At dinner they didn't ask me how I was feeling, they already know. They just put the house phone near me with Simon's parents number next to it.

"Hello." Simon's dad says on the other end of the phone.

"Can I speak to Simon?" I ask, I know what he's going to say but theirs no harm in asking.

"No Josh."

"Please."

"Look Josh I know your just confused. I like you but Simon took advantage of your friendship and I won't let him do that again."

"That's not what happened at all."

"You didn't know you was bi before Simon."

"People didn't know America was a thing before 1492 but it was still their."

"Look I'm doing what's best for everyone."

"No."

"My decision is final no matter what you, Simon or your friends on Facebook say."

"Fuck you!" I spat before hanging up the phone, why is he such a dickhead.

"Josh honey." My mum said, "I don't think their going to change their mind any time soon."

"They have to."

"Sorry Josh."

With that I sulked off up to my room. He needs to change his mind. He can't keep us apart forever. He will change his mind. He has to.

Authors note

My authors notes are usually a day or two behind because of how much I have prewritten. I probably shouldn't write my authors notes until the chapter is ready.

My phone charger isn't working that's why you may not get a third update. I'm 10% and have no way of charging my phone. I'm gonna ask for a pound to get a cheap one from pound shop tomorrow. This is super annoying. I'm gonna try write on my iPad but I find typing hard because it's too big.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻