Champagne and pools|minizerk

I don't even know what i'm feeling

"Can I talk to you about something." I look up from my homework and see Simon standing in my doorway.

"Sure, come in. What is it?" I ask, Simon comes and sits next to me on my bed.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Tobi."

"So?" I ask.

"Your not replacing me are you?" Simon sounded generally upset, did he really think that I would replace him.

"What the fuck of course not Simon." He really had to be kidding, he must know I would never do that, "Your kidding your my world."

"It's just you've been spending a lot of time with Tobi and well Tobi. Actually don't don't about that last but it's not my place to say." Simon rambled, "So your not replacing me?"

"No if anything your more likely to replace me. It's always been a huge fear." I admit, "Your the cooler one."

"I would never do that." Simon seemed shocked, "So we both think the other would replace them and we both will never replace each other."

"Pretty much." I laughed, "Is their anything else?"

"No." Simon stays silent for a moment, "That's a lie yes their is."

"So what is it?"

"Okay so I lied about something." He starts, "Well at the first party we went to you asked what you did and I said you just rambled bullshit I couldn't understand properly to me well I understood everything you was saying."

"Okay so that don't matter." Does Simon really think I care.

"No it will matter. Well basically while you was drunk you said a lot of things." He sighed, "I really hope this don't go awful. You basically said you have feelings for me but your straight. Then you said some very not straight things before saying maybe your not straight."

"What did I say." Shit, shit, shit.

"You said I was hot and you think about kissing me. You said you liked my hair when it's messy. You said I probably don't like you back." Simon rushed to get the words out, "You told me to admit my feelings for you but I didn't. I told you to speak to me when you was sober if you remembered."

"I didn't remember." I muttered absolutely terrified, "I'm sorry about all of that."

"No don't be sorry." He said, "Just tell me is it true. Don't lie about it I want to know if it's true."

"It is." I barely manage to say it and I can't maintain eye contact with him anymore.

"Say what you feel." Simons voice was a low as mine, "Please. For me. I need to hear you say it sober."

"I think your really hot Simon." My voice was no louder than a whisper.

"Josh please. I can't hear you."

"Fuck I'm too sober for this." I take a deep breath, this is going to be impossible, "I think your really fucking hot. Like insanely hot. I think about kissing you way more than I liked to admit and I'm always thinking about how we would make an amazing couple. I think you look so much hotter when you just woke up with messy hair but your already insanely hot when you style your hair. I really want you to have feelings for me but it confuses me. I always thought I was straight. I still think I am but I'm insanely attracted to you. Maybe I'm straight other than for you, this whole thing is confusing me."

"I needed to hear you say that." He probably don't like me back, "I got shit to say that I have no clue how to put into words. I didn't think you really liked me and I really hoped you did. That's why Monday for school I left my hair how you said you liked it to see if it was true and I wanted you to like it. I really wanted you to like it. In school whenever we joke about being secretly in love with each other it's not a joke to me. I really am secretly in love with you."

"I'm really confused Simon." Tears roll down my cheeks, "I don't understand what I'm feeling Simon. I have no clue what I want."

"I know Josh." Simon wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close, "I know exactly what your feeling right now."

"I don't even know what I'm feeling."

"I know."

Authors note

What are they going to do now they admitted their feelings for each other. We may never know.

Well you will. I'm not stopping writing.

So question time again lads.

What's your favourite ship outside of the sidemen?

Mine is merrikat. That's zack merrick and jack barakat from all time low.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻