Someone Better

Chapter 14

Author Note
This chapter is still in John's point of view.

"You said you like Lisa but you also said you love Alex. I am not trying to offend you but I personally think you don't really love Alex if you like Lisa. I also think you should tell Alex not until she gets out of the hospital in two days. No one deserves to be lead on by someone they think is head over heals in love with them."

"But I think it would would kill me to see Alex with someone else." I felt a lump in my throat.

"Sometimes holding on causes more damage than letting go." I was reminded that Alex had told me the same thing.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Be honest. You can lie to everyone around you but don't lie to yourself because at the end of the day you have to live with the decisions you make. I do think it is unfair that you are basically playing both Lisa and Alex. Don't think about how much you are going to hurt them, think about how much they would be hurt if you continue lying to them. I understand you might not want to tell them but I think you should. Them deserve to be happy and you also deserve to be happy. Just don't lie to them, they deserve better than that." Elizabeth said with a soft voice.

"If I do this do you think Alex and me would still be friends?" I can't stand the thought of losing her.

"You should know Alex well enough to know she wouldn't just stop being friends with you. I know she loves you. She will be upset but she will get over it in sometime."

"Should I do this?"

"Yes, but I'm not the one that is going to be doing this. If you want to you should."

A few days later. (Alex is home) still Johns pov

I knock on the front door I've knocked on so many times over the last year and a half. 'Am I ready to do this?' 'No, no I can't do this.' every possibility of this going wrong is going through my mind. Luckily I was saved by Elizabeth opening the door. We exchanged knowing looks about what is about to happen. I don't think this is really that big of a deal but I have been lying to myself and Alex for over a year. I walk upstairs and find Alex's door. A rise of anxiety started to rise inside me. 'What if this is the last time we talk?' 'What if she doesn't forgive me?' I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I hear a faint 'come in.'

"Hey. Alex." I breathed out.

"Hey baby. Are you alright? You look really pale."

Before thinking I'm hugging Alex. I'm hugging her like this is the last time we are ever going to see each other.

"Can you stop? You are kind of hurting me." She said.

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?" She quickly said after I let go of her.

"We need to talk about us."

"Ok. What do we need to talk about?"

"I love you so much. You have no idea how much I love you but recently I just feel like this isn't really working. I feel like you deserve someone better. Someone who will give you all the time in the world. The truth is I never deserved someone like you. You are so caring and such beautiful human being. I just feel like we aren't right for each other." I barely knew what I was doing. Am I wrong doing this?

"Oh. I see. Are you unhappy?" She breathed out.

"No. I'm not unhappy. I just feel like you deserve someone better." I feel my heart hurting.

"Are you in love with someone else?" She said so low I could barely hear her.

"No. I only have feelings for you. I just think you deserve someone better than me. I love you so much and I just want to see you happy even if I'm not the one making you happy anymore."

"Why are you doing this?" I could hear her voice crack holding back the tears.

"I'm doing this because I want you to be happy and I just don't think I'm making you happy anymore. I think you deserve someone a lot better than me. I'm doing this because I love you."

"If you loved me you wouldn't want to leave me." She has stopped hold back the tears.

"I-I'm sorry" I mentally yell at myself for doing this.

"All you have to say is 'I'm sorry'. I can't believe you are doing this to me. What did I do wrong? I thought we were fine." She paused before say the five words that broke my heart into a million little pieces. "Am I not good enough?"

"Alex look at me. You were good enough. You have always been good enough. I'm just not good enough for you. Trust me you are perfect in every way. All your flaws I see as perfection." She started crying more. I don't know what to do.

"Maybe you are right. You don't want to be with me anymore."

"Alex. I never said that..." I got cut off by Alex "No. I want you to leave." She said without letting me finish what I'm saying. I don't blame her though.

"Alex please don't do this. Just listen to me. Please" I pleaded and thankfully she let me continue.

"You said 'sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go' we have been having some hard times recently and I just feel like you don't deserve this. In fact no one deserves this. Sometimes love can't keep two people."

"Yeah I say a lot of things." I can tell how hurt she is and I just want to take everything back. "I think you would go now."

"Ok. I'm leaving. Just remember that I never regret meeting you or getting to know you. Thank you for the honor of letting me fall in love with you. Everything I'm my life I have basically regretted but you, you are the one thing I will never regret. You are the one thing I've done right." I start crying. I can't believe I've done this. I'm so stupid.

I didn't let Alex answer. I left the room and ran down the steps. Elizabeth is standing at the bottom. She asked me something but I couldn't really hear her. My heart hurts. I feel instant regret.

Author Note

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know the chapters haven't been that great but I promise they will get better. I will also make the chapters longer.

Thank you so much for reading.

Next update will be on the 7th. I have band camp next week and I won't be able to update. I might get the chapter done on the 30th but I'm not really sure.

Once again thank you so much for reading. ❤️