Someone Better

Chapter 27

Please listen to this song. Please read Author Note at the end.

Warning: This chapter contains depression and self harm. There will be ************ at the beginning and end of that section. If you feel uncomfortable reading I understand.

(*Flashback 1 year ago*)
Colton's pov

I don't understand why my parents decided to put me in this school. Everyone here is so stuck up. I hate it here. I wish we would just leave California. Everyday is just the same. I wake up and do the same things every single day for the past year and a half. I can't take it anymore.

I technically am considered an outcast at school because I decided to hang out with the wrong people in my first few years at school. I made a lot of mistakes and I've never been able to forgive myself for them. I hurt a lot of people because all I wanted was to get drunk and sleep with every girl I saw.

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If I could take those months back I would. I was diagnosed with major depression which is basically I feel depression most days and almost all the time. Most of the time my depression gets really bad to the point I just want to die. I don't really like to think about how stupid and worthless I am but those thoughts always find my thoughts. I try to act like I'm okay most of the time.

I started cutting myself a few weeks ago. It takes all the pain away for a moment. Cutting makes me feel half way alive again. I don't feel alive most of the time. I have no friends and my parents are always gone so I am left alone with nothing but my thoughts.

Today at school it was hard. Harder than what a normal day usually is. Today I just feel like sitting down and crying until I can't anymore.

Once again I have my mind to tell me. No one would care if I just disappeared. I have no friends, my parents  are hardly ever home, and I just have nothing to live for anyways.

I want to die. I remember telling myself that over and over again until all I could see was darkness.

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The next thing I know I wake up in a hospital room with my mom holding my hand crying. I look down at my arm and see I have bandages. I suddenly recall was happened and what I did. I look at mom who is in tears. She keeps repeating "Please don't leave me. You are all I have" I tightened my hand on hers and she looks at me.

Seeing my mom like this breaks my heart and I feel instant guilt.

I explain to her everything and how I feel. She understands but she doesn't say much. She tells me we are moving and it will be a new start for us.

Author Note

I'm sorry this is late but I didn't really know which chapter I wanted to publish. I know this chapter is all over the place and I'm sorry for that.

No matter how hard things get be strong tomorrow will be better. You matter to so many people. You brighten up people's day. You are important. You are a beautiful human being. In case no one told you today you are important, you do matter, you are not a waste of space, you are loved, and never forget that. Things do get hard I know but things will get better just don't give up. Please listen to the song attached to this chapter. You deserve to be alive.

This chapter is super dark and I'm very sorry. I thought I would do a flashback chapter.

Next update: 15th.

Thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️