Smiley: Really. I have an interesting case, treating two sets of siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.
-
EJ: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh?Jaywalking? This is bullshit.
-Gabriel: Pardon my French, but Smirky is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.
-Jeff: Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd.
LJ: What?
Jeff: Get the flock outta here.
-Masky: The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
-Liu: Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
-
EJ: Jeff, I would love to stand here and talk with you - but I'm not going to.
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Toby: If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
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Masky, to Toby: Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this, and totally redeem yourself! Ha!
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Offenderman: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
-Jane: Hey, psycho - we're not gonna discuss this, OK, it's over. Please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they breakup.
-
Kagekao: I'm glad he's single, because I'm gonna climb that like a tree.
-EJ, about BEN: Let me ask you something, and I'm not trying to be funny here. Are you sure he's not a midget with a learning disability?
-
EJ: You look like Freddy Kruger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.
Jeff: Fuck. You.
-
Jeff: Woh. Check out the hotties at twelve o'clock.
BEN: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?-
Gabriel: Look at the bright side, nobody got hurt.
Smirky: People got hurt.
Gabriel: I'm saying I think they died quickly so I don't think that they got hurt.-
Jeff: Who the fuck are you?
Jane: I'm the person that's gonna cut your dick off and glue it to your forehead so you look like a limp-dick unicorn! That's who the fuck I am!-
Jane: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game,Toby, break out the L word.
Toby: Lesbian?
Jane: The other L word.
Toby: Lesbians?-
Toby: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Masky: Is it the news that we suck? Because I really don't think I can take it.
-
Toby: You know what sucks?
Smirky: What?
Toby: EVERYTHING.
-
Sally, about Clockwork: She's with Jason.
Smirky: That's probably just because he's better than you.
-
Toby,to Clockwork: Hi, I was thinking about asking you out but then I realized how stupid that would be.
Toby: So do you wanna go out sometime?
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Masky: Toby if your life had a face I would punch it.
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Toby,to Clockwork: I'm in lesbians with you.
Clockwork: ...?
Toby: I MEANT LOVE.
-
Sally: Okay, you listen up and you listen hard, bucko! The next click you hear will be me hanging up. The one after that, will be me pulling the trigger!
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EJ: (After throwing Toby into a wall, says to Clockwork) Sup, how's life? He seems nice.
-
Jane: Is Toby here?
Smirky: You know what? [Toby jumps out of the window] He just left.
-
Gabriel, to Jeff: Holy NUTBALLS what happened to your FACE?
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Zalgo, to Jeff: How about this, dude; you tell me why you look like you headbutted a belt sander, and I'll let all of you go.-
Gabriel: FOR THE LAST. GODDAMN. TIME. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YOUR SPOOKY SPAGHETTI SQUAD.
-
Zalgo: Okay you've all won a one way ticket to Ass-Kicking land. Population you and these hands... Who's first?
Smiley: Take Jeff, He hasn't had enough punishment for all the bullshit he's put us through.
Jeff: Fuck. You.
-
Slenderman,to Jeff: You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!
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Jane: I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com,or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker. We did not have sex. I let you fondle my chest, and it was a glorious moment for you. Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced... including cake.
-
BEN: It's 106 miles to Blackwoods, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jeff: Hit it.-
EJ: Nice wig, Jeff. What's it made of?
Jeff: Your dead mom's chest hair!-
Jane: If you saw me online yesterday posting weird shit, that wasn't me. I was hacked.
Jeff: Does that include the 'Tag an ugly friend' post you tagged me in??
Jane: That? Oh no, that was 100% me.
-
BEN: Whatever, I'm too out of it to get into it. (Stoned BEN is best BEN.)
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Jeff: What a day. What a fuckin' day. (passes out)
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Jeff,to LJ: Gofuck on up a beanstalk, Jackie boy.
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BEN: *hits blunt*
BEN: What if senpai doesn't notice you because you're their senpai?
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FanfictionWelcome to a world where a bunch of idiots live together in one house and fight about more meaningless stuff than a youtube comments section. Features some of my ocs and TheNightPhantom's oc Smirky. Please go check out her stories!