Facing Reality

Chapter 5

I spent the next week in the hospital as I await the results of some tests the doctor ran. They examined my head a few times per day to make sure nothing was broken or damaged. Secretly, I wished something had happened that way I would know that it's not just me as a person who has a problem. But I seem fine except I feel a little nauseous at times and have light headaches; nothing that hasn't happened before. I've been feeling better too especially with visits from Annabelle and Lucas, Ross, and some occasional visits from my mom. Although, I want her to visit more but she says she's too busy with work and trying to sell the house—I guess Evan won the fight. Once I even got a call from Daniel who apologized for before and said he was really hungover but somehow, I couldn't believe his words. It was just stupid pity he gave.

All was well until one afternoon, I was playing cards with my roommate—they moved me to another room to make that room vacant for others—when the doctor came in followed by Ross who stood behind giving me a slight smile and a quick wave. These days, we've become friends although I still refuse to tell him what happened that day so he stopped asking and we just talked about other stuff. Since he was studying to be a doctor, he took notes every time a doctor or nurse came in to check up on me. But one day, he told me he didn't want to be a doctor.

"Why not?" I had asked him. It was a Tuesday and outside was pouring rain but inside, the room was still white, clean and neutral. "It's a great occupation."

"It is but it's what my dad wants me to do," Ross murmured as his shoulders drooped and pursed his lips.

"So you don't wan to follow him in his tracks 'cause that's really cliché?" I teased as I held a smirk on his face. What else I learned about him was that he liked to please everyone. Not make them mad or disappointed.

"That's not it," he gave me an annoyed look that made me grin happily. "I want to help people medically but also emotionally..."

"Emotionally?" I questioned. Ross was a very straight-forward person who was very open with others.

"Yeah," his face brightened up as if happy to discuss his dreams and future. "I want to help people who are depressed or have anxiety or broken. I want to fix them and help them onto their feet again..."

Ross seemed really shy now talking about this rather than his usual cocky self. "Like a therapist?" I am confused but yet amused.

"Nothing like that!" He defended him self and started waving his hands around. "Therapists make you feel uncomfortable. I should know because my dad made me see one after my mom's death, that was also the reason he wanted to become a doctor."

I wondered at this thought, definately something I expected.

Back onto focusing on reality, I saw the doctor grab a seat and sat next to me as Ross stood beside him with a concerned look on this face. What could it be?

"Ms.Coulder, we are glad to say that you only have a mild traumatic head injury and will be released from the hospital today but found something else; you have a large tumor in your brain. From what we have observed, it has been there since a while ago; it is miraculous that it hasn't done too much damage but it is very hazardous to your health. It would virtually be impossible to remove it."

I found myself shaking on the bed as the tears cascaded down the tip of my nose. Ross stepped over to my side and took my hand but I swatted it away. Why did all the bad things have to happen to me? Not someone else!

With sweat cascading down my back and the tears escaping my eyes, I suddenly feel very claustrophobic and trapped; trapped in this room, surrounded by these people, trapped in this body, surrounded by so much pain and trapped in this mind.