Anakin Skywalker was my best friend. He was my partner in crime. We went on missions together because we were a packaged deal. The council knew better than to separate the two of us. Although, our closeness was often questioned by the council. It worried both of our masters. But still, we remained attached to the hip.
It started about six to seven months ago when we had gotten trapped in a cell on Naboo. We had been on a mission to seek out a rare bounty hunter, but the bounty hunter set someone on our trail and we were captured. It had been over a week and a half and no one had found us, we were terrified. Anakin, being the caring person he is, comforted me through the entire thing. He held my hand as I slept and he kept watch no matter how many times I told him he needed to sleep as well.
It was hard not to see the holding hand gesture as anything but platonic, but I knew I had a job to fulfil as a Padawan. . .I could not love Anakin, or anyone, that way.
But then after we had been taken home after two weeks of being held captive, we found ourselves alone in my room. I had broken down for some reason and fell into his embrace. He ran his fingers through my hair and tried to calm my sobbing. And after I had cried myself out, I stared into his eyes before doing the unspeakable. . .I kissed Anakin Skywalker. And as you can imagine, I freaked out because of that as well. Anakin trying to make it better with humor.
But from those two moments, I had known I fell in love with Anakin Skywalker long before he held my hand or kissed my lips. . .and he knew it too. He had to have know what he was doing to me. He whispered more than kind words in my ear as we stood in practice. Or allowed his hands rest on my lower back, to my waists, and sometimes my cheeks. Anakin wasn't the oblivious type, but he wasn't the verbal type either. . .
Say you love me to my face
I need it more than your embrace
I felt that Anakin had feelings for me when he hugged me, or held my hand, and had any type of physical affection towards me, but he'd never bring it up with words. We never talked about our actions towards each other. We never brought up the moments in Naboo or my bedroom. But he continued to make it a game to see me flustered under his touch. It was frustrating to say the least, and heartbreaking at the same time. I was scared to touch him because I knew I would only fall deeper in love with him. But he wouldn't talk to me and I wanted to get to the bottom of the situation before I explode.
Just say you want me,
that's all it takes
I was scared to confront him, because if her were to say he loves me, I would probably say it back in an instant. I was weak when it came to Anakin, and I'm sure he knew that already.
Heart's getting torn
from your mistakes.
I was physically hurting from not being able to kiss him again. I wanted to do more than just kiss him, but I knew my master would be disappointed towards my thoughts. I hate that we ever kissed, because that's all I think about now. It won't leave my head. His lips moved perfectly against mine, he hands gripped my waist just right, everything was wonderful. . .until we stopped.
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If you don't wanna try,
He continued his actions, but I was confused as to why. I knew he wanted to become a Jedi master as badly as I did, so why would he try to jeopardize it? I knew deep down I didn't want to question it, because I enjoyed the attention he gave me, even if he didn't confirm his feelings out loud.
But all that I've been thinking of
Is maybe that you're mine
And part of me thought we could make this work, if we sat down and talked about it. So I had pulled him into my room and we sat on my bed.
"I've missed this room." He smiled while playing with the bedsheets between his finger. "I've also missed you." He moved closer to me and my breath hitched in my throat as I stared at his lips. And that was when I blurted out three words.
"I love you." A tear ran down my left cheek because I knew it was wrong to feel like he was mine and I deserved to have him. "I'm sorry if this is selfish, but I don't know if I can live without being with you for the rest of my life."
"Shh, it's okay to feel this way, (Y/N). . ."
"I'm scared."
Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say
And love's floating away
"I don't know what to do, Anakin. I've wanted to become a Jedi all my life. . .but I want you more." I cried. "I'd drop everything here if it meant being with you."
More tears fell.
Just say you love me, just for today
And don't give me time 'cause that's not the same
"Maybe take some time to think it over so you don't regret your final decision?" He offered, but I shook my head rapidly with more tears and leaned into his chest.
"I don't want time, Ani. I just want you. . ." I cried. "But it's all so scary."
"I know. . .I know it is." He moved my head so I could look at him. "I want you too." I leaned in and connected our lips just like the last time we had both been alone in my room. I sat back on my bed and ran my finger tips through the ends of his hair. He lied my down and hovered above me before kissing my neck.
Want to feel burning flames when you say my name
"(Y/N). . .I love you, I'm in love with you. And I will do anything for you, even if that means leaving the order." Tears welled in my eyes as I heard him say those words. I brought him back down into another kiss, this one more passionate. At this point, I knew what we were doing would be okay, because we had each other.
Want to feel passion flow into my bones
Like blood through my veins
He was gentle with me that night, and it was the most beautiful experience I had ever felt. I knew I would love him till the end of time. I wasn't sure as to why the council forbid this, but I knew I wouldn't stay here long enough to find out. Anakin and I both wrote letters to the council and our Masters, explaining our permanent disappearance. But we snuck out together, and we lived the rest of our lives out together. . .
. . .
AN: This was for Gryffindor_Jedi I know you wanted a sad imagine, but I didn't want to leave it on a bad note. I hope you liked it though, (The sad part was her internal struggle with loving Anakin) just a little fyi lol. I enjoyed writing it, thank you for requesting!
