Loving Him *complete*

Chapter 20

A/N hey guys hope you've liked the last update, I really tried to do the best I could. I promise to AT least try to do this and do a double update.

Here's the chapter!

Songs for this chapter:

° Distance - Christina Perri

° I wish - One Direction

~Sam's p.o.v

It was just a few days before Christmas and I really was excited for it more than I have any other years. Maybe because I actually have friends and family that I can spend it with. I've been really happy though these past few weeks due to the fact that I've got to know a little more about my real biological mother and great, fantastic friends.

I've begun to really feel comfortable around them and I love all of them to death. Nina is still the same Nina she's been since I met her, which I've been told was from when we were in the same orphanage together as well as Cat. She's still the same hardcore girl who tunes out anyone she doesn't like with her headphones, but she talks to me more.

Cat is going out a lot more with this mystery person she told us about when it started. She's been coming back home with her hair kind of messed up, I'm thinking it's because of the cold air outside, but I could be wrong. When I told Nina about Cats hair she just laughed and said I was totally clueless. I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

Niall is still the shy love-struck Irish boy who keeps falling for Nina every passing second even though she doesn't even know it. Whenever he's always over, he's always giving Nina googly eyes. I've been wanting to bring it up to Nina, but I don't think it'll be a good idea explaining how her first and last boyfriend was. But knowing Niall I think he won't even be close to how Nina's unknown boyfriend was, he seems sweet, but he's very loud and charismatic.

Louis and Eleanor are cuter as ever with their engagement coming up in March of next year, but they've only told me because they said they could trust me. I mean who wouldn't?

Zayn has also been nowhere to be seen, only sometimes when Cat's going with her secret person, which I told Nina as well and she laughed even harder at my 'cluelessness.'

Liam had been the best even though he doesn't know I'm the secret person he used to call when I did have my memory. I was so scared he was going to eventually find out and not talk to me anymore, because honestly that scares me.

It scares me that if he did find out he wouldn't act the same way with me and wouldn't tell me everything he's too afraid to say In person. I want to still have the same connection we used to have as kids from the stories he and my mom told me about

And last but not least. Him.

The one who is haunting my mind every waking hour. The one who slips in my mind at the most unexpected times. The one who I'm starting to fiercely fall for.

Harry.

It scares me. It scares me to know that I'm beginning to fall for him, to give in and kiss him. To know that once I say those words aloud to myself, there's no going back. It'll be it, it'll be the lock in my heart that I only know he could open. And honestly, I'm terrified to love for the first time. I'm terrified to love him overall.

I'm mortified of the thought that he could be the one to hold my heart without even knowing he's the one who could break it too. It gives me a pang of hurt whenever I think of him, but not just him, but him with her.

He's still with her.

And I don't know if I could live another day of seeing them on a magazine or on the internet together. I hate that she gets him after all those things she's done to Nina all those years. How she blamed Nina for the death of her parents, how she proudly isolated Nina into not having anyone when she needed someone there the most. She gets him. I don't understand after all that she gets the one thing I really want.

I know he could be rude sometimes and have an attitude towards people, but the truth is, he's a really sweet and understanding guy.

For instance, would a mean and obnoxious guy buy a girl who has absolutely nothing a whole new wardrobe of new clothes and a new Iphone? Would he show her how to download music into it and show her how to use it? Would he do the most retarded thing including getting in trouble just to make me laugh? I didn't think so.

He's just so gorgeous and fun and smart and inexplicably perfect I don't even know how I could start.

I wish I could hold his hand even if it means doing it under the table so no one sees. I wish I could be the one to run my fingers through his curly hair and mess with it. I wish o could be the one to poke his dimples whenever he smiles that cheeky grin. I wish I can call him at 3 in the morning and talk to him about everything and anything because I can't sleep. Then I'll be the one that caused his booming laugh, the one that caused his eyes to sparkle, the one that caused the happiness in him, the one who he loves. I can already see that life, the life where I'll be his.

So being here with my mom and Nina in the mall finding Christmas presents for everyone is just frustrating while I try to figure out what I should get him. Should I get him a bottle of men's cologne? I don't know because he's Harry styles and he could already have every possible cologne in the world.

I never knew how hard it could be to go Christmas shopping for celebrities especially if your beginning to have a crush on them.

~Harry's p.o.v.

Sam.

That's what has been in my fucking head since we introduced ourselves back at the hospital car lot. I can't get her damn face out off my head, even if I tried I'd probably imagine me fucking her instead.

Shit. Now I'm thinking about fucking her. Well she does have a pretty fit body. I hate the way her sweats and t shirts are so loose and baggy. I bought her a whole new wardrobe, but she hasn't even worn one article of clothing.

I know she told me she wouldn't wear them because I spent my money on her, which I wasn't supposed to do according to her. Fuck, I hate that she's so selfless. It just makes me like her even more.

Holy shit, I just admitted I liked her.

It's out there, well not technically, mentally it's out there. I have finally admitted I have feelings for Sam.

"Hazz? Where are you?" Shit, I forgot about Dawn.

"I'm over here!" I called out from my room. Soon enough she was at my doorway looking at me seductively. Why does she try so hard?

" Can I help you?"I asked a little too harshly, but I didn't say anything to take it back.

She had a look of shock, but it soon vanished and she tried to act seductive again. I rolled my eyes as she walked over to me trying to turn me. Most girls have to try to turn me on, but there's only one person who does it without even trying.

Her.

" Harry? What's gotten into you lately? You've been acting so weird." Dawn asked sitting on my lap.

I really wanted to push her off, but I couldn't do that to a girl. Especially Dawn because then she'll throw a tantrum about how I should treat her like royalty and I should respect her blah, blah, blah. But the thing is, I really don't want to treat get like that.

Not to be mean, but Dawn is such a clingy little drama queen. She wants everything handed to her in a silver platter and have it fed to her. I want someone who is willing to do anything for everyone. To do things for other people even though it means not getting what they want.

Like Sam.

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Hope you like the chapter.

I tried to do the best I could and tried to do it as long.

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