Dear Diary

Chap 10

2014: Age 17

Dear diary, 

I miss him.

A lot.

It seems like he took my heart along with him and now I feel empty and lost. I'm just a lost wanderer searching for a reason to live.

I might be over reacting but when I think about it, I had no one to talk to in class except for Taylor who sits beside me. 

When he came along, I felt happy. I didn't feel alone when he was there and I opened up to him, telling him most of the things that I didn't even told my friends about.

I was worried that maybe I opened up to him too much so, I decided to be quiet for a while for him to talk to me about himself.

I realized that I actually don't know him that much and that irritates me. That time, I wanted to be close to him. Not just physically, but mentally. 

I want to be there for him when he's sad. 

I want him to tell me what's wrong instead of giving me hints that he's not okay. 

I want him. 

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2014: Age 17

Dear diary,

Being in the same class with him is painful.

My eyes gets all watery when I see him being all sweet with one of the classmate.

They held hands, pinching each other cheeks, tickling each other, she kissed his cheek and of course he had to rest his head on her lap. 

There's much more to that but those actions hurts me the most.

She is very pretty and kind too. She is great at socializing and everyone likes her. I have to admit that she have a great body and she's not a skinny bitch like me.

She's also very smart.

No wonder everyone likes her.

I have to move on. He's better of without me.

Who wants to be around me anyways?

I'm always thinking negative thoughts.