2014: Age 17
Dear diary,
He broke up with me.
Honestly, I knew it was going to end eventually.
But I wasn't prepared for this heartbreak. My first heartbreak, it really does hurt. And somehow, my fucked up mind thought that it was worth it. He was worth getting my heart broken.
At first, my reaction was anger but then it turned to understanding.
I was angry because he said that he won't leave me. He read my notebook that fills with my demons thoughts. He knew that I was depressed, severely depressed. He knew that I self-harm. Yet, he doesn't try to understand.
But then I realized, just because I have a reasonable explanation, doesn't mean that my actions were reasonable enough.
I mean, I ignored him, I pushed him away and I should know that gives worst pain of all because I've been ignored most of my life.
I'm actually glad that he broke up with me, he deserves much more.
My final reaction was regret.
He expected me to be different than his past girlfriends.
He was hoping that I wouldn't hurt him and that we would last. But now that it is over, just because I was worried about my own problems and I kept pushing people away because I thought it was better that way. No one needs my negative vibe.
I kept pushing people that I needed in my life. What the fuck is wrong with me?!
At this moment, I hate myself to the point where I just want to cut my flesh open.
I rather hurt myself than hurting others. I didnt want to hurt him but I did and I hate myself for it.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary
Historia CortaIt talks about the character's mind, emotions and what had happened in her daily life. The story shows the development of the character's mind through out the years. The message of this story is that, there is hope for happiness for everyone.
