Dear Diary

Chap 6

2014: Age 17

Dear diary, 

My friends asked me "Why do you like him?"

"What do you like about him?" 

"What makes you like him?"

I always answered with "Because it's him" and "Everything" for the last two questions. 

But if you really ask me what makes me fall head over heels for this boy, my answer would be "He makes me happy."

There are bad days for me but when he came and sit in front of me and tries his best to make conversation with me, when he was clearly in a a bad mood, he lightens up my day. 

Even just a little bit.

He is literally the opposite of me. He is sociable with everyone and always make jokes which brighten everyone's day. 

Who wouldn't love a guy who can always makes you laugh? I really love him for his personality.

He is also smart. Smarter than me anyways.

And we all know that knowledge is sexy. 

Whenever he answer questions, he look and sound sexy. I don't know what sexy sounds like but when he open his mouth and all those knowledgeable words came out, I can't help but just stare at him. 

For one thing, because he was so damn attractive. For another thing, he is so damn smart. 

He is so attractive and his smile just captured my heart.

I remembered that during sports day I went out to search for him and when I do found him, I sneak up behind him and closed his eyes.

I still remember the smile that he gave me when he turned around to see that it was me. I felt special at that time. That I actually made someone smile. 

He is also very caring. That time when we had replacement class, the memory of him and me sitting at the back of the class, minding our own business, talking about random stuff. 

I remember the feeling of his soft hand on mine and his fingers clasped between my fingers. He made me feel safe and happy. 

That day was also when he kissed on my forehead, when he found out that I lack of sleep.

There was an electric feeling went through my heart and I'm still surprised that someone actually cared about me. 

I also remember when he kissed at the back of my hand. It was at a random moment when we're in class. 

I'm really falling hard for him and it scares me. What if we don't work out? Would I get over him easily?

There are countless of reasons why I love  him but the main reason would be that he loves me when I don't even love myself. 

I love him, I really love him, but I don't know how to show it.