Zindagi Kitni Haseen Hai

Part 6

* I want to be happy too *

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Anika's Pov

"But there's this girl and she makes me happy. She isn't in a good state but I'm still willing to be there for her any time, any moment", I heard him saying. I didn't know why but I was dying to know if he was in love with someone.

"So, you are in love?" , I asked him desperately. You know, people say curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back. I liked Shivaay and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because he was the only male I talked to after such a long time.

"Yes, I think I'm in love. But I'm not sure", he said and turned his head towards me. His blue eyes were Shining under the moonlight. Whoever she was, I was jealous of her.

Shivaay's eyes held so much care for that girl, it almost made me want to believe in something as ridiculous as love. It's not every day you see a guy so passionate about a Girl. I once wanted to be loved the same way. They say after every tunnel there's a light, but did you ever think that it could be a train?

He snapped his fingers and I came back to reality. I didn't want him to see me sad because of his wonderful love-life. I hated such clichè things but yet I wanted it to happen to me.

"Have you ever been in love?", he asked and I didn't want him to know how much I hated that word. Love, love, love. Bloody hell!

"No, I think everyone loves you for their benefits", I said in a stern voice. You could literally kill someone in the name of love and they'd let you. Dumbass people!

"Anika ,look at the star", he said. His voice filled with excitement. He really was amazing. Innocent like a kid. Humorous like a teen. Stupid like an adult and wise like a grandpa.

I looked up at the sky. It was so dark yet so magnificent. Proof that darkness could be more than just scary. There was no doubt that nightfall was something humans never deserved. Such a view was truly underrated.

"The more the star's shine the more we people notice them, the less the stars shine the less we see them", he said, making me confused. What did this have to do with my situation

"The same goes for us people", he was about to say something when we saw a shooting star. I always wanted to see one and just when I gave up the desire to live, I saw one.

"Quickly, wish something", Shivaay said as fast he could and closed his eyes.

We both closed our eyes, our hands on our hearts. I opened them and looked at him. Could Shivaay be my wish? Or was I asking for too much again. He did like someone else though.

"Oh God, please stop the time here, I wish I could spend my whole life with him, how good it would be if my past wouldn't be horrible that he could accept me. I want him, he's like the medicine to my inner wounds. I'm sounding selfish but I need him. Yet I can't take advantage of his innocence, he doesn't know anything about me. God, I don't wanna get stuck in this mess, I'm fine with my heartlessness", I wished.

You can't spend your whole life alone even if you believe you can. Everyone wishes for someone at a point. You can't escape love, even if you hate it. It is a part of life. I never thought I'd feel happy again but here I was. Maybe not fully but partly. And that was enough for right now.

"I'm falling for her, I'm loving her company. I know she's my patient and I can't fall for her but my heart is going wild and it isn't in my control. It's like she has the remote of my heart, all I want is her to be fine and smile", he wished.

I was staring at him when he opened his eyes. I smiled and he grinned back. Real gentlemen don't smirk. Shivaay was different from all of them. He didn't hesitate sharing his feelings nor did he think of that as a sign of weakness.

"What did you mean by 'the more stars shine'?", I asked him. I had an idea but Hearing it from him always made more sense and I wanted to act on it.

"The more you'll let the world see how happy you are, the more everyone will notice you", he said smiling. For a good paid therapist, he really was bad at it.

"Let's go home, it's late, Shirley will be waiting", he said and stood up.

"Yeah, em, sure", I looked at the forwarded hand. Not thinking twice, I grabbed his hand and stood up. We went back home. We were standing in front of my door steps.

Shivaay gave me an awkward smile and took a step to leave when I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. I was real bold sometimes and I liked it. It made me feel in charge of my decisions.

"Thank you", I whispered. His embrace was so warm. I felt home and safe.

"I'm always there for you", he whispered back and broke the hug.

"Shivaay, what if I don't want someone to notice me?", I asked him. The question kept ringing in my head and I wanted to get it out of my mind.

He looked at me speechless. I felt like I won the war but then he opened his mouth and I knew I was gonna lose.

"Call in for our next therapy session and I'll let you know", he said and and left. I still wasn't ready for therapy but I needed my answers. And it was Shivaay, there was nothing about him that made me feel uncomfortable.

"Would you enter home now?", Shirley scared me.
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Amna xx