Zindagi Kitni Haseen Hai

Part 23

"I loved her against reason
against promise,
against peace
against hope,
against happiness
against all discouragement
that could be"

✭ ✭ ✭

Shivaay's Pov

There was no doubt that I still loved her. I still couldn't imagine a future without her but my mind was so out of place that I couldn't think straight.

All the things she told me, they were real and happened. Those weren't tiny moments of her past. I couldn't process half of it. My bain was like frozen.

"You don't, right?", she sounded so disappointed. I looked at her, I wanted to scream how much I loved her against everything that happened to her but I felt tongue-tied.

"It's okay, I understand", she chuckled coldly. I shook my head in disagree. Why wasn't I able to say something? Now was the time to confess everything.

But before I could've proven anything, she left. And I didn't stop her. I was so busy thinking about everything. About her past, the present and the upcoming future.

I didn't deserve her. She was the best and anyone who'd marry her was going to be the luckiest. I was a coward.

I was afraid. Scared of everything. How my mom would've reacted? Was she even going to accept Anika? The society we lived it, was harsh.

Would my parents see her as someone impure? It wasn't Anika's fault. Why would they? I just had to convince them.

Grabbing my keys, I left for a walk. My thoughts were messy. I wanted Anika, but I was afraid of what would everyone think about her?

She had gone through a lot. And I didn't want to see her going through people's disgusting accusations again. My parents were very approving. But I wasn't sure about this situation.

I was wandering around the beach, when I saw someone sitting there. I sat down beside them. I didn't know why. The sea looked ravishing at this time. So deep that you could easily drown in it.

"Yo, mate", the dude looked at me. He seemed drunk. But I couldn't care less about some random dude.

"Hey", I answered, my eyes still focused on the coming waves.

"Why do you seem so heartbroken?", he asked me and giggled. Some real issues there.

"My girl went through a lot, she asked me if I loved her. I chickened out", I told him. He turned towards me. His expression turned serious.

"Do you love her body?", he looked at me. He seemed pretty mad. Just like me in that moment.

"The hell, no?", I kind of yelled at him. But it didn't bother him, it only seemed to relief him.

"Good. I've done the same mistake", he looked sad now. It was so strange, I could literally connect with an alcoholic.

"What?", I needed advice plus I was curious. We did seem to have similar situations.

"We were in college. I was naive, she got harassed and I broke up with her because I thought she wasn't good enough anymore. Or that's what people always told me", he sighed.

"Bummer", it was so strange how people gave up on love because of some inconvenience. But then I remembered that I was doing the same.

"I know you love her, so f**k everything, man. Marry her! She's the one and don't let anybody convince you otherwise", he argued and I believed every word he said.

"Value love, before love stops valuing you", he whispered. His voice held so much regret.

"I was tongue-tied. Scared of what might've happened in the future. What if my family didn't accept her?", my voice sounded low.

"When you love someone, you love them for who they are. Her interior matters, and if that's beautiful then to hell with everything else. Show her some respect and make everybody else respect her too", he replied. I looked at him. He didn't smile.

"I'll just go and tell her how I feel then", I smiled. Anika was it, she was everything.

"What you waiting for, next year?", he smiled.

"Can I get your number though?", I asked him nervously.

He handed me his phone because he felt to exhausted to talk more. After turning on my phone, I saw Shirley's miss calls. I entered the car and left as quick as possible.

This time I was going to tell her that I wasn't afraid of anything. Not the people, not my family or anything else. She was going to be mine and I would be hers, forever. Because we belonged with each other.

It took me long enough to realize that love wasn't love if it was easy. Love demanded compromise. It was hard, but it was always worth it cause in the end you were with the person who loved and cherished you.
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Dedicated to crazyshals

Take care, Amna :)