Part 21

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"heaven help the fool who falls in love"

• • •

Shivaay's Pov

I was sitting on the couch, reading a book when someone came from behind and put her hands on my eyes. It was Mali, obviously, because no one else dared touching me. I hated clingy people and Mali was one of those touchy people.

"Take your filthy hands off me", I shouted and could hear her gasping. Well. she deserved it, no one told her to cover my eyes.

"Whatever, I have big news for you", she told me. The good thing about Mali was, she didn't lie. And if she did, it had a valid reason.

"Shoot", I told her and she came around and sat down with me.

"Uncle wants me to get engaged to you", my eyes were threatening to fall out. I didn't like Mali in that way and she knew. Even mom knew about me liking Anika. Were they all pranking me?

"Listen, we obviously are best friends but I don't like you. So, speed up with your flirting skills and get Anika to like you", she rolled her eyes and I took a breath of relief.

• • •

The next day I didn't know how to behave because I had an appointment with Anika. And there was this huge time bomb of my father wanting me to marry Mali. He had always adored her but I never thought this much.

Anika entered the room, she was looking happy. Today marked 5 months of us meeting and working on her anger and social skills. Yet I hadn't heard about her past, which was on the schedule today but I didn't want to see her sad.

"Hello, weirdo", she greeted me. I smiled.

"Hey", I replied and sipped on my coffee. I drank a lot of it when I was stressed and Anika seemed to notice that.

"Are you okay?", she sounded worried which made me feel kinda good because it showed that she cared.

"Yes", I answered and sat down on my armchair. Anika sat down across me. I wanted to tell her about the proposal but today wasn't the right day and after tomorrow there was no day because my parents were gonna fix me up with Mali.

"Anika, how are you feeling?", I asked her and took out my notebook and pen. Anika'a progress was slow but steady. She had finally recovered most of her demons, just not the biggest one. Which made me realize, I should've started with that one. I was such a bad therapist.

"I'm weirdly happy today. Like, really content. I haven't taken pills for a month, I go out with Shirley and Dad. I have a new friend called Aditi", she told me and I felt proud of her. It was so special how she had finally started living.

"This makes me happy as well", I told her.

"I have good news for you too", it slipped out of my mouth. Well, it wasn't a good news, and I hated myself for mentioning it now. Anika furrowed her forehead.

"I'm getting engaged to Mali", please tell me not to do it. I looked at her, Anika's smile vanished. Her eyes looked sad. I was such an arse hole, man.

"Congrats", she faked a smile and I kept staring at her.

"You're not gonna say anything?", I asked her. She looked at me confused.

"Why, is there something else to say?", she sounded bitter which I didn't mind because I knew she liked me, then why wasn't she objecting against my engagement with Mali.

"Anika, just say it", I sternly commanded.

"Say what?", she kind of yelled at me. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Maybe you love me?", I shouted back. It was clear as ice we had feelings for each other and we even indirectly confessed them once.

"You deserve better", Anika whispered and looked away. Which made me just more angry because I couldn't stand losing her and here she was ready for it.

"Yes, that's why I deserve you. Anika, you're better to me", I took a step forward but she took a step back.

"Please don't give up on us", I whispered, But she still didn't say anything.

"I don't deserve you. I'm not good or pure enough for you. I've been damaged a lot, you should be with someone who can live up to your standards", she looked away. My hands wandered into my hair.

"Please, marry Mal..", before she would've finished the sentence, I stepped forward and pushed her against the wall. She looked at me scared, my eyes wandered to her lips and soon mine were on hers. I was kissing her senseless, but she wasn't responding.

Anika kept trying to push me away but I was like possessed. She stepped on my feet which made me stumble back. The next thing was her hand against my cheek. Anika had slapped me. My body froze and her eyes started shedding big tears.

"You are just like him", she cried and broke down. Anika curled up into a ball. Her head between her legs. I came to her level and tried to touch her but she backed off. I was such an idiot and even those words weren't enough for me. I really didn't deserve her.

Shocked, I stood up and brought her water. The petite girl that I loved, looked up and took the bottle from my hands throwing it away. Her eyes held disgust for me. It broke my heart, but I had done the worst thing ever so that had to happen.

"I love you", I whispered and looked away. I could feel her looking at me, miserably.

"Then why did you do it?", she asked and sobbed.

"I don't know, it felt like I was possessed. I didn't want to lose you and the fear turned into anger", I tried to be as honest as possible. I didn't want to lose her trust too or I already had. Anika was quiet for the next 5 minutes.

"You mentioned someone. Who were you talking about? And why do you think you are not pure enough?", I asked her. Anika shivered from fear. Her body started sweating.

"Daksh", her voice was so low that I almost didn't hear her. Anika closed her eyes so hard and started breathing heavily. I made her drink some water and we went through some breathing exercises.

"Daksh, who?", I asked her, still confused. Her teeth clenched and she looked at me.

"My rapist", my heart stopped beating for a moment. I looked at the girl in front of me, she seemed so fragile but she was one amongst the strongest. The only difference was; her tale wasn't revealed to the world yet.
_______________________________________

Society sucks. There are so many Anika's out there who suffered from this. And they can't tell their story to anyone. And all of this wasn't even their fault. Parents ask them to hide their pain and they keep suffering alone. No one's safe from those rascals who see everything as a meal. Boys, baby's, kids..no one's safe! And we all keep making life worse for them by telling them to not share this with the people outside, why? Your girl or anyone who has suffered from this are the strongest and have nothing to be ashamed of. Find those bastards and chop off their d***s... it's all because of those filthy animals who can't keep it in their pants. Please, look out for these people, tell them they deserve all the love in the world! Take care :)

Amna <3

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