Zindagi Kitni Haseen Hai

Part 22

❝𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓽𝒽𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝔂𝓮𝓭 ❞

• • •

Anika's Pov

"The only reason why I ever stopped living and enjoying life. I never knew I could love someone, people always told me I was too disgusting to be loved", I looked at Shivaay. He was sitting there stiff. He wasn't even moving.

I was so scared, afraid he wouldn't want me anymore. But that only lasted until he looked at me and placed his hand on mine.

"You can't understand my pain, Shivaay, even if you'd want to. Because you never went through it. You don't know how it feels to be lonely. How it is when you're burning in fever and there's no one to take care of you, to feed you or to look after you. You have no idea how awful it is to sit on the stairs in school and cry because nobody wanted to be your partner. You don't know how sad it is when other parents come to pick up their kids but your parents are sleeping under dirt. And you certainly haven't seen a birthday where no one remembers that it is your birthday. No one's there to wipe your tears when you're crying. There's nobody who'd hug you when you feel like falling apart. I'm afraid of darkness but that's how my life has been since my parents left"

I cried out loud. Shivaay had tears in his eyes and soon I felt two arms around me, caressing my hair. He softly kissed my head.

"How did your parents die?", he slowly whispered into my ears. I looked at him.

"We were a happy family. Mom, Dad and me. It was my birthday when I somehow managed to break my mom's favorite photo-frame. She was so angry.

ʼAnika can't you see or walk properly? Why do you have to be so careless?ʼ

Mom scolded me. I started crying and that's when my hero arrived, my father. He engulfed me in a tight hug.

ʼAshu, stop scolding her. It's her birthdayʼ

He turned towards me and kissed my forehead. It was the last time I felt my dad's existence.

ʼWhat does my girl want?ʼ

He asked me and because I loved sweets over anything, I asked him to buy me chocolates. Dad left and never came back. Turns out he had met with a car accident"

I choked on my breath while trying to recall everything related to my parents. I missed them everyday and every second. It was hard living without them.

"I'm here", he kept drawing circles on my finger. And it actually seemed to calm me.

"Mom died with him. She was so lifeless, she never talked and hardly ate. After 6 months she got married again. It was a huge shocker for me, I couldn't see someone else as my dad. Later on I got to know Raj Singhania, the guy my mom married was the murderer of my father. He failed the brakes of my dad's car because of business rivalry. I hated mom but not for too long. All my grudges vanished when I used to see her in pain. He would beat her, a lot. She used to cry while hugging my dad's photo. Raj had blackmailed her to marry him! One day, mom left too"

I couldn't breathe anymore. Tears weren't stopped and Shivaay kept cooing at me. I snuggled more into him. His fragrance gave me a bit of strength.

"Mom was checking a file when he came and slapped her. He didn't like mom touching his stuff without his permission. Mom answered calmly saying she was just looking at it. His anger reached the top, he pushed her down the stairs. After that he kept beating her. Mom was already weak, so she couldn't take it anymore. I can still hear her scream till date, Shivaay"

My voice started getting louder. My heart felt heavy. I didn't want to live. I just needed my parents.

"I love you more now, you're so strong", his grip tightened.

"He used to scold me and let me do all the chores. Raj kept trying to snatch my property but for that I needed to be 18. So, he had to tolerate me til then. He was an alcoholic and ran out of money. One day he sold me to an anonymous man. His name was Rohit Khurrana. I worked as a maid in their house. His son had always bad intentions related to me and I always managed to escape him and his insults. He'd embarrass me in college or any social place. He also tried to propose to me but I insulted him and it cost me a lot. Mr. Khurrana left for a business meeting one day, his son kidnapped me to his farmhouse"

I stopped and looked at Shivaay. He was red from anger, his veins were visible. I could feel myself shivering. I slowly escaped his embrace and started scratching on my arms because I could feel his touch.

Shivaay's eyes widened and he gripped my arms. He then ran to his desk and found an injection.

"Please, don't", I cried. He looked at me, I knew he didn't have any other choice. And he injected me.

It wasn't a large dose so I didn't fall unconscious. I could still tell him the rest. But did I have the courage?

"Shivaay, he raped me. He touched me everywhere he could. I couldn't even scream because he had a cloth in my mouth", I screamed in utter disgust.

"It won't ever happen to you again", he kissed the side of my eyes.

"After that he locked me in the basement for three days, without food or water. He'd come back after some time only to beat me. It was impossible to escape him. One day, he didn't come back, it was my cue to leave. I ran away from there but I couldn't really 'run', more like I limped away. After some time, I couldn't and fell down on the street. That's when an angel found me. Dad, Mr. Paresh found me and took me with him. He took care of me and after knowing what happened, he legally adopted me. I soon joined college. My only friends were Shirley and Mohan. I told him everything about me and he decided to tell my darkest secret to everyone on campus. When I came back to college, everyone started gossiping about me. Calling me names like wh**e, sl*t and an attention seeker. They thought I was asking for it. They didn't even know me"

I looked down, I was clutching onto Shivaay's arm. I had left deep nail marks on them but I couldn't bother less.

"Mom's would tell their girls to stay away from me cause they didn't want to get their daughters in trouble. I slowly started distancing myself. I'd go to college and then lock myself in my room. After a month, I even stopped going to college. I relayed on pills and self destruction"

My eyes wandered to the marks on my arms. I was a victim and a survivor. I didn't deserve all of this. It wasn't my fault some rich bastard didn't know his limits.

But would Shivaay still want me after all this. Was I still important to him? I didn't like the thought of him being disgusted by me.

"Do you still love me?", I asked him. He looked at me. His eyes were dark. His face looked stern. Shivaay seemed emotionless.
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I hope you guys liked it. I'm really sorry if I failed to portray the pain of a person who has been through this. I hope, me and my work didn't come off as insensitive. I apologize in case I wrote something wrong or hurtful :)

Take care, Amna.