After You

Jacob

Alfie,

I have never been so fucking angry and humiliated in my life.

I've always trusted your judgement, but you screwed up massively when you became friends with that little prick. Max Hakin is dead to me. I could kill him, and I'm not even exaggerating. I could actually kill him.

It's not as though our family hasn't been dragged through enough shit. Now that the dust is settling and sympathy is starting to wear off, people are suggesting that Dad mistreated you, or that Mum wasn't around enough so you had attachment issues or whatever. It's only going to get worse in the run up to the inquest; all the speculation and gossip that we pushed you towards it. I've had people asking me why I didn't stop you, as though I knew what you were planning. People really think that twin telepathy thing isn't a pile of bullshit. If it was real, don't they think I would have stopped you?

The last thing we needed was Max Hakin writing a stupid letter to you for his English assignment about how you two were apparently secret lovers, destined to be together or some bullshit. My skin is crawling just writing that. He must have known we'd be marking each other's letters. I bet he loved it when we were partnered up together. Not even I wrote a letter to you; I just made up some random great-aunt and "confessed" that I'd forgotten her birthday or some shit. Max just sat there while I read his letter and he didn't even say sorry.

I walked out of class. I walked right out of school and came right home. If I'd sat there for another minute I would have punched him in his stupid fucking face. If Max wants to live out some creepy gay fantasy with you, that's his business, but what right did he have to shove it right in my face? Did he think I'd just smile and say "oh, this is lovely"? I don't want to read about some guy's fantasies about my dead brother, pretending that they were madly in love. You had a girlfriend. I'm fairly sure we'd have known if you were gay.

I can't calm down. I've never been so angry in my life. I thought I was angry at you when I found out what you'd done, but that has nothing on this. I'm going to make Max pay for humiliating me and disrespecting your memory like this. He's a creep and a loser and he's going to regret his little fantasy life, I'm going to make sure of it.

Jacob